Sunday, September 24, 2006
The Passing of a Friend...
Dear Friend(s),
A friend in the program, like me who has loved
his dogs forever, known their total humanity (more
so than we as humans can give) lost a dear friend his
"big gold dog" Tres a week ago.
I found out last night, and ask you all to share
this simple prayer of life, for I know in God's heaven
also is our dearest, and most trusted furry friends.
My love to you Wallace and Tres, God holds us
all in HIS most loving hands...
Karen G.
He Tucked Me In
Dedicated to "Tres and Wallace"
by
Karen Hallenbeck-Sikorsky-George BS,RN
September 24th, 2006
This school boy does not know, the darkness of night, the
Rising of sun, the wind gently touching boughs and branches
Beneath my heart, without love, the colors of fall cannot leave
Me, not now, for as I lay to rest, my time is beginning, and he
Did not leave, did not stop to say good bye, for you dear frined
Tucked me in...
I know sorrow comes in shades of grey
The abyss can linger, alone yet far away
The moment I turn back, to see your trust
To smile, to reach for you again, I know
Dear God this night I pray, to sleep in peace, give me serenity please
A ray, of gentle rainbow after rain, of dew dropped grass, this
Morning song I do send, to see all life that comes to me, I dare
Not forget how you "just did love me" without condition nor to
Bend, like branches blowing in that fast West Texas wind,
He tucked me in...
You the parent, the child, all one blend
I cared deeper, the depths while one tear went
Dropped from my eyes, there is no trust
No greater friend, to smile, to heaven I to send
Our last night so simple, sweet, the routine we build, a life we keep
Somewhere behind me memories lend, the many days we smiled
Your eyes now see, an everlasting hymn of gratitude, no person
Can give your special presence, for we to learn, and humbly stand
A dog, a friend, this one strong man, the silver leaves hold this end
You let me sleep, you tucked me in...
Tres, dear Wallace, Gods peace I pray
Creation comes, his life is his way
With love..A man, a dog, two friends...
Thank you God
You tucked him in...
Karen Hallenbeck-Sikorsky-George BS,RN
September 24th, 2006
This school boy does not know, the darkness of night, the
Rising of sun, the wind gently touching boughs and branches
Beneath my heart, without love, the colors of fall cannot leave
Me, not now, for as I lay to rest, my time is beginning, and he
Did not leave, did not stop to say good bye, for you dear frined
Tucked me in...
I know sorrow comes in shades of grey
The abyss can linger, alone yet far away
The moment I turn back, to see your trust
To smile, to reach for you again, I know
Dear God this night I pray, to sleep in peace, give me serenity please
A ray, of gentle rainbow after rain, of dew dropped grass, this
Morning song I do send, to see all life that comes to me, I dare
Not forget how you "just did love me" without condition nor to
Bend, like branches blowing in that fast West Texas wind,
He tucked me in...
You the parent, the child, all one blend
I cared deeper, the depths while one tear went
Dropped from my eyes, there is no trust
No greater friend, to smile, to heaven I to send
Our last night so simple, sweet, the routine we build, a life we keep
Somewhere behind me memories lend, the many days we smiled
Your eyes now see, an everlasting hymn of gratitude, no person
Can give your special presence, for we to learn, and humbly stand
A dog, a friend, this one strong man, the silver leaves hold this end
You let me sleep, you tucked me in...
Tres, dear Wallace, Gods peace I pray
Creation comes, his life is his way
With love..A man, a dog, two friends...
Thank you God
You tucked him in...
Thursday, September 14, 2006
The Song ends...
Tell the Song
Karen Hallenbeck-Sikorsky-George BS,RN
September 14th, 2006
In the amber shadow, the brown branch stays, reaching with
Worn leaves burned by sun, empty of light, now dry, unable
To touch, the earth below, or break off to become the wind's
Refuge, to blow far away from this barren landscape, where
Desert plain is endless, timeless, ageless, and the human forms
That dot the surface, working like efficient ants, are glowing
Fireflies, they die on command, endless rain will never come
The tired old man needs heroin, he is falling down, no one
Cares, they walk by, invisible to the healthy land mines
He crawls behind a brick building laying face up to
The burning sun (to die), and the mongrel dogs ignore
His last breath, a word of solace to all, "God" is all
Today, hear that silent song, blue in color following you up
And down the stair steps of your mind, shake loose all the
Dust, spider webs, soiled clothing, dirty dishes and become
One life that sees the world "just" as it is, the tears form
From a place you did not know (your heart) and you cannot
Barricade the children within the fence, they are running wild
The playground has no boundaries, and their voices scream
In happiness, potential life to grow, they are seeds, and you
Just fall, telling old stories, and the dirty dollar bill
Flies out of your pocket, a police car pulls us and
Two officers young enough to be your grandsons
Shake their heads in unison, like children they call
The coroner's car takes you to the air conditioned room, and
You are gone, wave good bye, for soon parts of you will be
The remainder of long years lived on planet Earth, and the
Brown branch falls, cracks on icy soil, it is December and a
Stray snow forms in highest skies, and a blizzard bathes the
Plain this night, the coyote is hidden deep in the barren hill
North of Midland, far enough where inches will form on the
Ground, and children will stay home from school, listen the song...
The church bell hesitates, pulls back, its huge silver countenance
Like a belligerent face, pulls back, and watching it without closing
Your eyes, you see an old man you once knew, his smile absent
The tower is beyond your touch, or you could climb up and
Feel the silver on his cheek, experience the tears never shed
Tell him "Daddy I love you I did all along" and be the young
Man of pride he bore, with that mother who pulled you back
Beat you with her infatuated lies, into clear mental submission
He cries alone, red baseball cap in hand, it took
So long to find this father, above the Christian house
No worship, no prayer will bring him back today
He is at peace, the track marks healed, he is of
God, the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth and so
Jesus Christ died for our sins, and he'll punch the clock, study
His books at night, become the man "Daddy" could not be,
Marry the girl who did not lay down, spread her legs wide
The one who inspired his manhood to rise is now gone, just
A fictional memory of lust, and Sunday he goes back before
The bell rings, to sit in pensive gaze below on that brown
Bench burrowed in prayer, and reverence for the man, now gone
To each his own, now years pass, arthritis burns
His back in the morning, and circles under his
Eyes speak of ill health, the years are short we see
Later on, down the road, when we cannot leave
Hell on earth, to journey to happy places, vacation lands only
Today it is hard to walk, to see backwards with pride, to feel
The many who walked through your heart, who burned small
Pores of indecision in your mind, who never cared the way
You do now, who will be too busy to attend your funeral or
Too old to care, who will pray to bank accounts, and make
People their God, forever and ever amen, close your eyes
Don't think this say, tell the song to stop, playing here...
In my head...
Silence can reign..
Karen Hallenbeck-Sikorsky-George BS,RN
September 14th, 2006
In the amber shadow, the brown branch stays, reaching with
Worn leaves burned by sun, empty of light, now dry, unable
To touch, the earth below, or break off to become the wind's
Refuge, to blow far away from this barren landscape, where
Desert plain is endless, timeless, ageless, and the human forms
That dot the surface, working like efficient ants, are glowing
Fireflies, they die on command, endless rain will never come
The tired old man needs heroin, he is falling down, no one
Cares, they walk by, invisible to the healthy land mines
He crawls behind a brick building laying face up to
The burning sun (to die), and the mongrel dogs ignore
His last breath, a word of solace to all, "God" is all
Today, hear that silent song, blue in color following you up
And down the stair steps of your mind, shake loose all the
Dust, spider webs, soiled clothing, dirty dishes and become
One life that sees the world "just" as it is, the tears form
From a place you did not know (your heart) and you cannot
Barricade the children within the fence, they are running wild
The playground has no boundaries, and their voices scream
In happiness, potential life to grow, they are seeds, and you
Just fall, telling old stories, and the dirty dollar bill
Flies out of your pocket, a police car pulls us and
Two officers young enough to be your grandsons
Shake their heads in unison, like children they call
The coroner's car takes you to the air conditioned room, and
You are gone, wave good bye, for soon parts of you will be
The remainder of long years lived on planet Earth, and the
Brown branch falls, cracks on icy soil, it is December and a
Stray snow forms in highest skies, and a blizzard bathes the
Plain this night, the coyote is hidden deep in the barren hill
North of Midland, far enough where inches will form on the
Ground, and children will stay home from school, listen the song...
The church bell hesitates, pulls back, its huge silver countenance
Like a belligerent face, pulls back, and watching it without closing
Your eyes, you see an old man you once knew, his smile absent
The tower is beyond your touch, or you could climb up and
Feel the silver on his cheek, experience the tears never shed
Tell him "Daddy I love you I did all along" and be the young
Man of pride he bore, with that mother who pulled you back
Beat you with her infatuated lies, into clear mental submission
He cries alone, red baseball cap in hand, it took
So long to find this father, above the Christian house
No worship, no prayer will bring him back today
He is at peace, the track marks healed, he is of
God, the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth and so
Jesus Christ died for our sins, and he'll punch the clock, study
His books at night, become the man "Daddy" could not be,
Marry the girl who did not lay down, spread her legs wide
The one who inspired his manhood to rise is now gone, just
A fictional memory of lust, and Sunday he goes back before
The bell rings, to sit in pensive gaze below on that brown
Bench burrowed in prayer, and reverence for the man, now gone
To each his own, now years pass, arthritis burns
His back in the morning, and circles under his
Eyes speak of ill health, the years are short we see
Later on, down the road, when we cannot leave
Hell on earth, to journey to happy places, vacation lands only
Today it is hard to walk, to see backwards with pride, to feel
The many who walked through your heart, who burned small
Pores of indecision in your mind, who never cared the way
You do now, who will be too busy to attend your funeral or
Too old to care, who will pray to bank accounts, and make
People their God, forever and ever amen, close your eyes
Don't think this say, tell the song to stop, playing here...
In my head...
Silence can reign..
The Shadow Regress
The Shadow Regress
Karen Hallenbeck-Sikorsky-George BS,RN
September 9th, 2006
She falls, the pavement absorbs impact, a sound of crunching bones
Blood oozes, she is twisted like a rag doll, there is a cry from a distant
Place, this broken heart is ended, like a bad book with no ending, it is
Shattered, spilled, and the shadow behind her moves away, this last
Walk is silent, painful, she is free of the living, those she never
Understood, who stood at her doorstep, banging like bill collectors
Demanding that she be someone she did not know
Pretend to give what she had no surplus of
Lay upon spikes of emotional hate daily for
An indeterminate time, until she fell today
Willingly, without warning--to her death, the clover growing at the
End of the stream are fragrant, she can see clearly now as she
Stands up whole, in a place where no harm goes, or comes she is
Free of all feelings, the fear is finally passed, there is nothing
Pulling at her heart which beats steadily without effort, and
Tonight sleep will wrap around her, as she ventures home for the
Last trip never to return to you nor to
Want to (not this time) and those left behind
Cannot stand on her chest forcing her down
Time and time again as they did, relieved of
Life, the living, the earth once a gift from God, HE brings her back
Pure, untouched by pain, living justly in HIS presence, and the
Rainbow forms as the sun shines through raindrops, they fall with
Purpose, and the book is written again, this time a happy ending
She turns as the child waves to the horizon, and climbs the final
Mountain top, yes alone, she has always been, and now at the end...
This had to stop, the field is fallow, they burned the remaining cane
In the fall it is blackened, dense, patches of yellow remain, but this
Time the blight has come, faraway sheep fall to their knees stricken
The disease is invisible, silent, and the suffering of millions is found
Right here, below the small bayou, beyond the house where lilac
Flowers bloomed in winter frost the first year, and I waited for you
To love me forever, you did not know how
To be the man in our couple but the parent
You became, the father you never had you
Were to me, you forgave my endless sins and
Wiped away my tears as I ran inside myself, then away, driving miles
To and from, a simple promise, a word of love held me fast, the
Thousands of miles, dirty rest stops, the HOPE in my heart that you
Would be like "they" and you wanted me to know that you were not
Different you are, will be, long past the time they cremate my worn
Body, and the maggots cannot fester in my remains, and the Judge
Who took my children dies of self contempt
The children cry "Mommy no" and it stops
It ends, the nightmare is over no more will
I awaken in a cold sweat bathed in the LOVE
That only a mother knows, I am that woman, their beloved mother
God gave me that right, I grew up raising them, learning how to be
The child disallowed me at birth, my tears stop again, my eyes dry
The sewer is overflowing and the stench is driving me to my knees
I vomit again and again and still am not empty, do not take the child
Their mother will die today for she has given up, the lies, the pain...
Laying broken, one last breath
The blood is spattered and a
Toddler points to the dead form
"Mommy look at that..."
She is gone...
" Karen G. "
Gee whiz it's me !!!
Karen Hallenbeck~Sikorsky~George BS,RN,UM,QC"
Interqual Certified
Published Psychiatric Researcher
Advocate for those in CIP, HIV, Psychologic Pain
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/KeeshondenToShowAndLove/
KeeshondenToShowandLove
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/OneAnGeLInPain/
"One AnGeL In Pain"
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AnAnGeLInPain
"AnAnGeLInPain"
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ADayWithoutPain/
"ADayWithoutPain"
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/PotassiumWastingDisorders
"Potassium Wasting Disorders"
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/renal_tubular_acidosis/
"Renal Tubular Acidosis"
http://groups.msn.com/AnGeLsInPain
"MSN AnGeLs"
(Our chat forum)
(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.•*~¸.•*¨)
They did not agree much,
in fact they rarely agreed at all,
they fought all the time, and challenged
each other everyday, but in spite of their differences,
they had one thing in common,
they were (are), crazy about each other.
------
" There is one way to teach those the truth who are not able to give truth
in a way they do not forget; one makes their lie the truth.."
by Karen G... 7-26-2006
"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best,
night and day, to make you everybody else means to
fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight;
and never stop fighting. -e. e. cummings-"
"God provides, HE will DO FOR US
what we CANNOT do for ourselves..."
Karen Hallenbeck-Sikorsky-George BS,RN
September 9th, 2006
She falls, the pavement absorbs impact, a sound of crunching bones
Blood oozes, she is twisted like a rag doll, there is a cry from a distant
Place, this broken heart is ended, like a bad book with no ending, it is
Shattered, spilled, and the shadow behind her moves away, this last
Walk is silent, painful, she is free of the living, those she never
Understood, who stood at her doorstep, banging like bill collectors
Demanding that she be someone she did not know
Pretend to give what she had no surplus of
Lay upon spikes of emotional hate daily for
An indeterminate time, until she fell today
Willingly, without warning--to her death, the clover growing at the
End of the stream are fragrant, she can see clearly now as she
Stands up whole, in a place where no harm goes, or comes she is
Free of all feelings, the fear is finally passed, there is nothing
Pulling at her heart which beats steadily without effort, and
Tonight sleep will wrap around her, as she ventures home for the
Last trip never to return to you nor to
Want to (not this time) and those left behind
Cannot stand on her chest forcing her down
Time and time again as they did, relieved of
Life, the living, the earth once a gift from God, HE brings her back
Pure, untouched by pain, living justly in HIS presence, and the
Rainbow forms as the sun shines through raindrops, they fall with
Purpose, and the book is written again, this time a happy ending
She turns as the child waves to the horizon, and climbs the final
Mountain top, yes alone, she has always been, and now at the end...
This had to stop, the field is fallow, they burned the remaining cane
In the fall it is blackened, dense, patches of yellow remain, but this
Time the blight has come, faraway sheep fall to their knees stricken
The disease is invisible, silent, and the suffering of millions is found
Right here, below the small bayou, beyond the house where lilac
Flowers bloomed in winter frost the first year, and I waited for you
To love me forever, you did not know how
To be the man in our couple but the parent
You became, the father you never had you
Were to me, you forgave my endless sins and
Wiped away my tears as I ran inside myself, then away, driving miles
To and from, a simple promise, a word of love held me fast, the
Thousands of miles, dirty rest stops, the HOPE in my heart that you
Would be like "they" and you wanted me to know that you were not
Different you are, will be, long past the time they cremate my worn
Body, and the maggots cannot fester in my remains, and the Judge
Who took my children dies of self contempt
The children cry "Mommy no" and it stops
It ends, the nightmare is over no more will
I awaken in a cold sweat bathed in the LOVE
That only a mother knows, I am that woman, their beloved mother
God gave me that right, I grew up raising them, learning how to be
The child disallowed me at birth, my tears stop again, my eyes dry
The sewer is overflowing and the stench is driving me to my knees
I vomit again and again and still am not empty, do not take the child
Their mother will die today for she has given up, the lies, the pain...
Laying broken, one last breath
The blood is spattered and a
Toddler points to the dead form
"Mommy look at that..."
She is gone...
" Karen G. "
Gee whiz it's me !!!
Karen Hallenbeck~Sikorsky~George BS,RN,UM,QC"
Interqual Certified
Published Psychiatric Researcher
Advocate for those in CIP, HIV, Psychologic Pain
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/KeeshondenToShowAndLove/
KeeshondenToShowandLove
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/OneAnGeLInPain/
"One AnGeL In Pain"
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AnAnGeLInPain
"AnAnGeLInPain"
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ADayWithoutPain/
"ADayWithoutPain"
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/PotassiumWastingDisorders
"Potassium Wasting Disorders"
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/renal_tubular_acidosis/
"Renal Tubular Acidosis"
http://groups.msn.com/AnGeLsInPain
"MSN AnGeLs"
(Our chat forum)
(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.•*~¸.•*¨)
They did not agree much,
in fact they rarely agreed at all,
they fought all the time, and challenged
each other everyday, but in spite of their differences,
they had one thing in common,
they were (are), crazy about each other.
------
" There is one way to teach those the truth who are not able to give truth
in a way they do not forget; one makes their lie the truth.."
by Karen G... 7-26-2006
"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best,
night and day, to make you everybody else means to
fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight;
and never stop fighting. -e. e. cummings-"
"God provides, HE will DO FOR US
what we CANNOT do for ourselves..."
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