The Shadow Regress
Karen Hallenbeck-Sikorsky-George BS,RN
September 9th, 2006
She falls, the pavement absorbs impact, a sound of crunching bones
Blood oozes, she is twisted like a rag doll, there is a cry from a distant
Place, this broken heart is ended, like a bad book with no ending, it is
Shattered, spilled, and the shadow behind her moves away, this last
Walk is silent, painful, she is free of the living, those she never
Understood, who stood at her doorstep, banging like bill collectors
Demanding that she be someone she did not know
Pretend to give what she had no surplus of
Lay upon spikes of emotional hate daily for
An indeterminate time, until she fell today
Willingly, without warning--to her death, the clover growing at the
End of the stream are fragrant, she can see clearly now as she
Stands up whole, in a place where no harm goes, or comes she is
Free of all feelings, the fear is finally passed, there is nothing
Pulling at her heart which beats steadily without effort, and
Tonight sleep will wrap around her, as she ventures home for the
Last trip never to return to you nor to
Want to (not this time) and those left behind
Cannot stand on her chest forcing her down
Time and time again as they did, relieved of
Life, the living, the earth once a gift from God, HE brings her back
Pure, untouched by pain, living justly in HIS presence, and the
Rainbow forms as the sun shines through raindrops, they fall with
Purpose, and the book is written again, this time a happy ending
She turns as the child waves to the horizon, and climbs the final
Mountain top, yes alone, she has always been, and now at the end...
This had to stop, the field is fallow, they burned the remaining cane
In the fall it is blackened, dense, patches of yellow remain, but this
Time the blight has come, faraway sheep fall to their knees stricken
The disease is invisible, silent, and the suffering of millions is found
Right here, below the small bayou, beyond the house where lilac
Flowers bloomed in winter frost the first year, and I waited for you
To love me forever, you did not know how
To be the man in our couple but the parent
You became, the father you never had you
Were to me, you forgave my endless sins and
Wiped away my tears as I ran inside myself, then away, driving miles
To and from, a simple promise, a word of love held me fast, the
Thousands of miles, dirty rest stops, the HOPE in my heart that you
Would be like "they" and you wanted me to know that you were not
Different you are, will be, long past the time they cremate my worn
Body, and the maggots cannot fester in my remains, and the Judge
Who took my children dies of self contempt
The children cry "Mommy no" and it stops
It ends, the nightmare is over no more will
I awaken in a cold sweat bathed in the LOVE
That only a mother knows, I am that woman, their beloved mother
God gave me that right, I grew up raising them, learning how to be
The child disallowed me at birth, my tears stop again, my eyes dry
The sewer is overflowing and the stench is driving me to my knees
I vomit again and again and still am not empty, do not take the child
Their mother will die today for she has given up, the lies, the pain...
Laying broken, one last breath
The blood is spattered and a
Toddler points to the dead form
"Mommy look at that..."
She is gone...
" Karen G. "
Gee whiz it's me !!!
Karen Hallenbeck~Sikorsky~George BS,RN,UM,QC"
Interqual Certified
Published Psychiatric Researcher
Advocate for those in CIP, HIV, Psychologic Pain
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(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.•*~¸.•*¨)
They did not agree much,
in fact they rarely agreed at all,
they fought all the time, and challenged
each other everyday, but in spite of their differences,
they had one thing in common,
they were (are), crazy about each other.
------
" There is one way to teach those the truth who are not able to give truth
in a way they do not forget; one makes their lie the truth.."
by Karen G... 7-26-2006
"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best,
night and day, to make you everybody else means to
fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight;
and never stop fighting. -e. e. cummings-"
"God provides, HE will DO FOR US
what we CANNOT do for ourselves..."
