Battalion Conquest
Karen Hallenbeck Sikorsky George BS,RN
February 9th, 2007
Blue feathers, some tropical bird you are, standing still, so quiet I can
Almost hear your heart beat, this pleasant shoreline is dotted with more
Sand, of whitest pale, there is an ecstasy in laying here feeling the sun
Warm the inner cold, the barren, loveless, hopeless place I chose
Thousands of miles the journey has taken, polka dot sunglasses rim
My child's nose keeping my eyes alert, visual, the enemy still stalks
Circles and more circles, the rounder and tiring path
Legs burning in endless pain, the walk never ends
Feet blistered, sore, and the light never fades it is
Now time to sleep, rest, remember less, than nothing
Your promise is a knife of fear and never reached my "return to sender"
What legacy do you give me, but for some unsettled moments where I tried
More than you to believe your LIE, tend nothing but hurt like a garden that
Is never free of pestilence, today you cry big wet tears, easy to ignore for
Anger is my friend, I call upon him to stave you off, and beat you senseless
Empty, filled with desire, reticent, clueless are you, stay off my tree of life
The simple and beautiful sat before you, sweet of heart
Kind of touch, laughing at times of your fury that was
Misplaced, for inside you were not unlike me, in need
The ONE was WE, and now you are pushed aside
The years took more from me, my health is a weakened flag, the strongest
Fall breeze cannot push it to ripple in pride, instead it flops in despair
Arms frail, heart pounding in erratic beats, eyes dazed from the clarity of
Your face (I did love you a minute), your hands typing a keyboard are all
That I will remember and disgust will turn my stomach each night you
Placated your addiction like a heroin addict pricking a tired vein, yes you
Rainbows, pretty spring days, a romantic life is what
The dream is for me, I had only one this entire lifetime
It is now odiously replaced with the grey, dim reality
That you are a buffoon not human, not male, nothing you are
The daisies are below my feet, somehow I walked into this pasture, one
Lone cow gazes in lazy stare at my face, continues to chew the cud, and
The sun like a huge globe does not reach the cold in my heart, and a chill
Shakes my form reminding me there is nowhere left to go, I'll not be with you
Not like this, and you won't find me here, or in the bed where you might touch
My cheek and gaze upon me in the night, when you are far too alone, no more
You made a wasteland of years you ripped them to shreds
They feel useless, spent erratically without purpose now
The diamond tip of this bullet pierces the eternal place where
Life begins, ends, and there is no record of death
Wandering, a step at a time, to this small cove, there is water waiting to rush
In the tide is low, I will sit and wait, forget how to swim, and the storm that is
Building strength will find me sitting here, as that bird with blue feathers falls
Dead on its side to the sand, washes out to sea, rots and sinks to the floor
No memory, no hope or faith, the seed is gone, frozen in winter soil, and now
The rat a tat tat of that foreign gun explodes, relief fills me, the conquest
Is gone
One breath ,a sigh
To death...
Sometimes
Karen Hallenbeck Sikorsky George BS,RN
February 7th, 2007
Big Ben is larger than life, and I stand reverent in
Front of this sound, in a place you never went, alone
I travel dressed in high level warfare, non existent
Enemies circle endlessly like ugly sea gulls dropping
Waste, they are not trained in battle, they slip, and
Greasy feathers crack in two, screech in pain they
Not I who wins, the battle is forever
Common to me as tea and toast is to you
I dress in armor and reserved blonde curls
Stare into you with torpedo blue eyes
You won't DIE, not today, and I'd appreciate you not
Mentioning where I reside, for the life I live is so
Singular, the fight never ends, as long as I remain
Attentive to the battlefield, we cannot lose, we win
You can try to be the "picnic chick" sprawled out
Comfortably, conversing as if you belong, I don't so
Let him go, I never understood what you saw
In his manner, his haughty, stubborn, ability to
Piss you off, and make you cry, where did you
Mirror this thing you called "love" and do you
Imagine you'll find peace in his tunnel, softness in his
Touch, that deep unrelenting LOVE in his heart, did you
Forget about me, keeping you alive, safe from harm, letting
You pull up the chains and run "just so far" did you know
Sometimes I wonder who is in charge here, and if you'll go
To leave me behind, I'm just a little girl, "hey you"
Get out of my sandbox, leave my toys alone
There is no one home to cook dinner, or read
You the bedtime story you never heard, there is
One beached whale and a half empty fifth of Seagrams
Run, from me, just go, how easy to forget that I come first
The men are just a list of conquests, war torn ego ridden
Fools who jack off if they lose entry, and think just a
Moment later about the next time around, you can't love
Him, if you do I'll suffocate, and change to someone we
Can't be, come back home, right here, stand by me, don't
Go...Now go away I've had it, don't cry or
Beg for a partner, a marriage, a way to be
Human, the old pastor is at the funeral home
Ready for you to call, get in the coffin, die
He is there, so strong, you look into his eyes with such
LOVE, frozen am I to see you, expand, grow fill with light
Don't you see "I love you" and am helpless to the end, to
The mother who murdered me, broke my child's heart in
One thousand unattached pieces, I cannot find her she is
GONE, gone with the wind, burned to a thousand ashes
Firing Hell with her scorn, her ugly FEAR is
Alive, well, tripping you, making you fall
How is it you, love, despite her hate I must
Leave you now, cannot stomach your fate and
That sparrow is sitting so calm, awaiting your entrance
He stares straight ahead, past me, and beyond the dream
Turned nightmare, and you will go to him, until the pain
Stops, and the love grows bigger, so "forget about me"
I won't forget you, and the battalion is growing inside
Me until the last grenade pops, and the battery acid
Forever burns my heart cold
"I'll miss you Karen"
Good bye...
Friday, February 09, 2007
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Good bye the one I love...
My Love
Karen Hallenbeck Sikorsky George BS,RN
February 7th, 2007
This is no heart, no mellow embrace, the boredom of
Searching cracked endings will fade, this day ends
Beside that stream of drowning embryos, cast aside
They never lived, you aborted with abandon the future
Beings they lined the alleys, like lost dogs, then
Went away, I go too, this place you live is easily
Discarded, shut down, left behind, the
Half lives of strangers is your world and
My life regenerates (without you), and
Stray cats howl in heat, procreate, breed
The last sound you hear is the voice mail spitting a
Lie, that "I will love you till I die" it stopped
Before the last breath, and the PAIN of existence
Fought to stay primary, to take me down, where I go
Is light, you cannot find me here ever, I go away
Not a trace of my blue eyes, or the heart you thought
You knew, never will that car door slam
You see me drive away, for this is the end
No Friday message from God will keep my
Heart that erred within yours, not even good bye
The ride is long, the miles go on and the counting stops
Rest areas become foreign, traffic builds, the air is cold
Children are pale, the roads are eaten by pot holes, north
Can I stop for awhile in this town, Daddy is buried here
One last tear shed, even now you become less a memory
Testing to see if I have forgotten, enough to begin
This journey anew somewhere else, forget you
No, still you embed sorrow, despair, hopeless
Non forgiveness, not the anger of yesteryear
It hurts too much, alone I cry one last time
She hated the falsehood and dishonesty, she stood tall
That rainy day and opened her heart (to you) and the
Promise made was raped, pillaged, and the rat race
Began (again) don't you see I can't take it anymore
Be you not that scent of rose, that hand upon my
Shoulder, I know not you, and if you believe I'll return
You are wrong, the gun shot sounds far away
Returns closer, the hand shakes, trembles and
This time aims closer, the explosion is the
Last memory, the mark hit, she is dead, gone
The box was plain, could it be empty, that one body
Gone, no rest in peace, a wasted life, another gone
From here, they say it happened far away, she had
Stopped to get her mail, pay the last bills, wave
"So long" and drove until the end of the earth began
Somewhere north of here, the last abyss too high
To climb, never did she
Say "good bye..."
Karen Hallenbeck Sikorsky George BS,RN
February 7th, 2007
This is no heart, no mellow embrace, the boredom of
Searching cracked endings will fade, this day ends
Beside that stream of drowning embryos, cast aside
They never lived, you aborted with abandon the future
Beings they lined the alleys, like lost dogs, then
Went away, I go too, this place you live is easily
Discarded, shut down, left behind, the
Half lives of strangers is your world and
My life regenerates (without you), and
Stray cats howl in heat, procreate, breed
The last sound you hear is the voice mail spitting a
Lie, that "I will love you till I die" it stopped
Before the last breath, and the PAIN of existence
Fought to stay primary, to take me down, where I go
Is light, you cannot find me here ever, I go away
Not a trace of my blue eyes, or the heart you thought
You knew, never will that car door slam
You see me drive away, for this is the end
No Friday message from God will keep my
Heart that erred within yours, not even good bye
The ride is long, the miles go on and the counting stops
Rest areas become foreign, traffic builds, the air is cold
Children are pale, the roads are eaten by pot holes, north
Can I stop for awhile in this town, Daddy is buried here
One last tear shed, even now you become less a memory
Testing to see if I have forgotten, enough to begin
This journey anew somewhere else, forget you
No, still you embed sorrow, despair, hopeless
Non forgiveness, not the anger of yesteryear
It hurts too much, alone I cry one last time
She hated the falsehood and dishonesty, she stood tall
That rainy day and opened her heart (to you) and the
Promise made was raped, pillaged, and the rat race
Began (again) don't you see I can't take it anymore
Be you not that scent of rose, that hand upon my
Shoulder, I know not you, and if you believe I'll return
You are wrong, the gun shot sounds far away
Returns closer, the hand shakes, trembles and
This time aims closer, the explosion is the
Last memory, the mark hit, she is dead, gone
The box was plain, could it be empty, that one body
Gone, no rest in peace, a wasted life, another gone
From here, they say it happened far away, she had
Stopped to get her mail, pay the last bills, wave
"So long" and drove until the end of the earth began
Somewhere north of here, the last abyss too high
To climb, never did she
Say "good bye..."
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Ugly Is True
Karen Hallenbeck-Sikorsky-George BS,RN
February 3rd, 2007
Mottled day, repeats and spins, the nausea churns inside
Red flames from places unknown ignite, burrow deep where
No garden grows, release me from the bondage that holds
Me hostage without rope, jail cell wall, or guard it is
True, so ugly am I, recognition stops, pilot light bends
Gas fumes escape, the prisoner encapsulated is just you
My prince is flying in a jet plane
Remembers he that I am of him and
Beautiful as crystal glass, he never
Knows this side of me, most of me
Somber wooden legs do not bend, this walk is forever, the
Sky is thick, my eyes cannot see above the one cloud that
Mutes spirit, crashes with discordant wrath and sweat
Forms begging beads on my tired brow, LOST in a vapor
Rat maze is me, there is no you (here), and a penny found
Is gone, the riches are spent, and no escape exists, explode
A cannon in the metropolitan city no one
Seems to care, a tiny butterfly begs
Air space and she flies gently above the
Acres of ugly wasteland below her, never
Look back, to years of time spent growing family, nurturing
Black and evil depressed acts, to church bells pealing and
Escaping the destined hearing of the free, to that one
Angel anointed with oil, she is a small figment of this
Warped, twisted, and locked mind, oh gentle heart of love
Reach forward, do marathon mile for me, save me from myself
Endless minute become tomorrow, resurrect a
Tree of shade to sit beneath in cool peace
Formidable corn stalks are new to sight and
There might be one story book tale not read
Touch the trembling limb (it is me) and unfold the wrapped
Package sitting in the post office for weeks, unsigned for
"No one is home" and remind your neighbor you are "alone"
Unable to eat, to stand, to breathe, and you might die
This night alone, unfettered, free to escape, but trapped
Beyond the wall of rainbow sky in ugly reverie, just you
Ribbons, bows, party gifts sweet smiling faces
No voice can sing the strength of newness
Rebirth of one to the broken mirror within
The light goes on and it is gentle, you are
Invited back in
Humankind welcomes you
Repeat not the crime of
The first life, ugly is true
It is not, you...
Karen Hallenbeck-Sikorsky-George BS,RN
February 3rd, 2007
Mottled day, repeats and spins, the nausea churns inside
Red flames from places unknown ignite, burrow deep where
No garden grows, release me from the bondage that holds
Me hostage without rope, jail cell wall, or guard it is
True, so ugly am I, recognition stops, pilot light bends
Gas fumes escape, the prisoner encapsulated is just you
My prince is flying in a jet plane
Remembers he that I am of him and
Beautiful as crystal glass, he never
Knows this side of me, most of me
Somber wooden legs do not bend, this walk is forever, the
Sky is thick, my eyes cannot see above the one cloud that
Mutes spirit, crashes with discordant wrath and sweat
Forms begging beads on my tired brow, LOST in a vapor
Rat maze is me, there is no you (here), and a penny found
Is gone, the riches are spent, and no escape exists, explode
A cannon in the metropolitan city no one
Seems to care, a tiny butterfly begs
Air space and she flies gently above the
Acres of ugly wasteland below her, never
Look back, to years of time spent growing family, nurturing
Black and evil depressed acts, to church bells pealing and
Escaping the destined hearing of the free, to that one
Angel anointed with oil, she is a small figment of this
Warped, twisted, and locked mind, oh gentle heart of love
Reach forward, do marathon mile for me, save me from myself
Endless minute become tomorrow, resurrect a
Tree of shade to sit beneath in cool peace
Formidable corn stalks are new to sight and
There might be one story book tale not read
Touch the trembling limb (it is me) and unfold the wrapped
Package sitting in the post office for weeks, unsigned for
"No one is home" and remind your neighbor you are "alone"
Unable to eat, to stand, to breathe, and you might die
This night alone, unfettered, free to escape, but trapped
Beyond the wall of rainbow sky in ugly reverie, just you
Ribbons, bows, party gifts sweet smiling faces
No voice can sing the strength of newness
Rebirth of one to the broken mirror within
The light goes on and it is gentle, you are
Invited back in
Humankind welcomes you
Repeat not the crime of
The first life, ugly is true
It is not, you...
Clover cool to my skin...
Moon Kiss Clover
Karen Hallenbeck-Sikorsky-George BS,RN
February 3rd, 2007
Dark emerald green scattered, on pasture floor, scent of
Cold spring day further, sprinkled like sugar on a cookie
Just one taste is enough, celibate to the sweet (of you)
The storm fury of the years past shakes me, today I step
Into a path long gone, avoid the mind, the memory hurts
You make jello of my heart, do I respond, sink, fade
Children are not born innocent, older we
Are then the world, crooked lines of decadent
Dreams are their fantasy, let me sleep awhile
Turn you to me (our pillow), and dry the tears
Obedient sun forever shine above, warm this earth, never
Fade, even when shades of pale pink to grey to white can
Make me wonder if above still is of HE (to me) and the
Saddest songs have no melody, my hands fumble and drop
The smallest possession I no longer own, did you steal from
My heart the subtle strain of deepest love, the only gift
Clover spreads further, timidly I lay down
Feeling the cool touch my skin, and the smell
Feeds me a moment of unknown peace, the color of
Blue in a pale, still sky reminds me "to live"
Not fade, not give in to the darkness, the wallowing abyss
Grows lazy over the years, cannot capture me for my legs
Still strong just walk away, there is no urgency to run
Instead I see what pain is, the line of uncertainty that
Drives this emotional car off the road, no more train
Wreck, contentment is just a momentary smile, lilting dream
Radiant smile, the teen age girl is perfection
Standing with total attention from all who stare
She curls in a fetal ball, sleeps like a child
The wealth is not known, the twilight valley sleeps
That feeling is warming my heart; skipping in and out the
Friday "day" I drove away crying in exhausted tears, not
Naming the heart that beat so clearly as my own (you) and
The lock and key that bind us in true LOVE made me vomit
In gross despair, that interstate from Louisiana to Texas
Is so old, so tired that one can hold the steering wheel
Eyes closed, foot on the gas pedal and feel the
"Stop and go" traffic, the construction sites the
Same vehicles plowing across the hands of time
A wasteland we have created, you can't find it on the
Map of our life, now drawn in lavender ink on a large open
Parchment paper, spread across our bed, we lay looking down
Afraid to meet each others gaze, or to touch a hand that
Will tingle, spur memories, physical fusion yet created they
Know lust, we know a deeper interaction and we hesitate to
Break the virgin spell, the newest testimony of WE not me
I sit in the bathtub arms wrapped around my legs
Hide me from you, a faint blush reminds me of
My shame, you look at me and splash warm water
I tell you to leave (but want you to stay) we grow
By leaps and bounds, tree frogs have a simple life, and
If our wants get smaller, cost less heartache, and make
The ocean tide come in and out, then our raft will float
To shore, we will be home at last, tired legs carry us
To solid ground, a birthday cake awaits us, hungry we
Are for that solemn, happy emotion, we never knew, the
Fight ends today, the blaring horns of rush hour
Remind us that Monday comes quickly, and we
Can finish the day, yawn, eat supper, and rest
Hand in hand, this precious life must be seen
Heard, touched, spoken and
We must love..
Yes, me, and you...
Karen Hallenbeck-Sikorsky-George BS,RN
February 3rd, 2007
Dark emerald green scattered, on pasture floor, scent of
Cold spring day further, sprinkled like sugar on a cookie
Just one taste is enough, celibate to the sweet (of you)
The storm fury of the years past shakes me, today I step
Into a path long gone, avoid the mind, the memory hurts
You make jello of my heart, do I respond, sink, fade
Children are not born innocent, older we
Are then the world, crooked lines of decadent
Dreams are their fantasy, let me sleep awhile
Turn you to me (our pillow), and dry the tears
Obedient sun forever shine above, warm this earth, never
Fade, even when shades of pale pink to grey to white can
Make me wonder if above still is of HE (to me) and the
Saddest songs have no melody, my hands fumble and drop
The smallest possession I no longer own, did you steal from
My heart the subtle strain of deepest love, the only gift
Clover spreads further, timidly I lay down
Feeling the cool touch my skin, and the smell
Feeds me a moment of unknown peace, the color of
Blue in a pale, still sky reminds me "to live"
Not fade, not give in to the darkness, the wallowing abyss
Grows lazy over the years, cannot capture me for my legs
Still strong just walk away, there is no urgency to run
Instead I see what pain is, the line of uncertainty that
Drives this emotional car off the road, no more train
Wreck, contentment is just a momentary smile, lilting dream
Radiant smile, the teen age girl is perfection
Standing with total attention from all who stare
She curls in a fetal ball, sleeps like a child
The wealth is not known, the twilight valley sleeps
That feeling is warming my heart; skipping in and out the
Friday "day" I drove away crying in exhausted tears, not
Naming the heart that beat so clearly as my own (you) and
The lock and key that bind us in true LOVE made me vomit
In gross despair, that interstate from Louisiana to Texas
Is so old, so tired that one can hold the steering wheel
Eyes closed, foot on the gas pedal and feel the
"Stop and go" traffic, the construction sites the
Same vehicles plowing across the hands of time
A wasteland we have created, you can't find it on the
Map of our life, now drawn in lavender ink on a large open
Parchment paper, spread across our bed, we lay looking down
Afraid to meet each others gaze, or to touch a hand that
Will tingle, spur memories, physical fusion yet created they
Know lust, we know a deeper interaction and we hesitate to
Break the virgin spell, the newest testimony of WE not me
I sit in the bathtub arms wrapped around my legs
Hide me from you, a faint blush reminds me of
My shame, you look at me and splash warm water
I tell you to leave (but want you to stay) we grow
By leaps and bounds, tree frogs have a simple life, and
If our wants get smaller, cost less heartache, and make
The ocean tide come in and out, then our raft will float
To shore, we will be home at last, tired legs carry us
To solid ground, a birthday cake awaits us, hungry we
Are for that solemn, happy emotion, we never knew, the
Fight ends today, the blaring horns of rush hour
Remind us that Monday comes quickly, and we
Can finish the day, yawn, eat supper, and rest
Hand in hand, this precious life must be seen
Heard, touched, spoken and
We must love..
Yes, me, and you...
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