Battalion Conquest
Karen Hallenbeck Sikorsky George BS,RN
February 9th, 2007
Blue feathers, some tropical bird you are, standing still, so quiet I can
Almost hear your heart beat, this pleasant shoreline is dotted with more
Sand, of whitest pale, there is an ecstasy in laying here feeling the sun
Warm the inner cold, the barren, loveless, hopeless place I chose
Thousands of miles the journey has taken, polka dot sunglasses rim
My child's nose keeping my eyes alert, visual, the enemy still stalks
Circles and more circles, the rounder and tiring path
Legs burning in endless pain, the walk never ends
Feet blistered, sore, and the light never fades it is
Now time to sleep, rest, remember less, than nothing
Your promise is a knife of fear and never reached my "return to sender"
What legacy do you give me, but for some unsettled moments where I tried
More than you to believe your LIE, tend nothing but hurt like a garden that
Is never free of pestilence, today you cry big wet tears, easy to ignore for
Anger is my friend, I call upon him to stave you off, and beat you senseless
Empty, filled with desire, reticent, clueless are you, stay off my tree of life
The simple and beautiful sat before you, sweet of heart
Kind of touch, laughing at times of your fury that was
Misplaced, for inside you were not unlike me, in need
The ONE was WE, and now you are pushed aside
The years took more from me, my health is a weakened flag, the strongest
Fall breeze cannot push it to ripple in pride, instead it flops in despair
Arms frail, heart pounding in erratic beats, eyes dazed from the clarity of
Your face (I did love you a minute), your hands typing a keyboard are all
That I will remember and disgust will turn my stomach each night you
Placated your addiction like a heroin addict pricking a tired vein, yes you
Rainbows, pretty spring days, a romantic life is what
The dream is for me, I had only one this entire lifetime
It is now odiously replaced with the grey, dim reality
That you are a buffoon not human, not male, nothing you are
The daisies are below my feet, somehow I walked into this pasture, one
Lone cow gazes in lazy stare at my face, continues to chew the cud, and
The sun like a huge globe does not reach the cold in my heart, and a chill
Shakes my form reminding me there is nowhere left to go, I'll not be with you
Not like this, and you won't find me here, or in the bed where you might touch
My cheek and gaze upon me in the night, when you are far too alone, no more
You made a wasteland of years you ripped them to shreds
They feel useless, spent erratically without purpose now
The diamond tip of this bullet pierces the eternal place where
Life begins, ends, and there is no record of death
Wandering, a step at a time, to this small cove, there is water waiting to rush
In the tide is low, I will sit and wait, forget how to swim, and the storm that is
Building strength will find me sitting here, as that bird with blue feathers falls
Dead on its side to the sand, washes out to sea, rots and sinks to the floor
No memory, no hope or faith, the seed is gone, frozen in winter soil, and now
The rat a tat tat of that foreign gun explodes, relief fills me, the conquest
Is gone
One breath ,a sigh
To death...
Sometimes
Karen Hallenbeck Sikorsky George BS,RN
February 7th, 2007
Big Ben is larger than life, and I stand reverent in
Front of this sound, in a place you never went, alone
I travel dressed in high level warfare, non existent
Enemies circle endlessly like ugly sea gulls dropping
Waste, they are not trained in battle, they slip, and
Greasy feathers crack in two, screech in pain they
Not I who wins, the battle is forever
Common to me as tea and toast is to you
I dress in armor and reserved blonde curls
Stare into you with torpedo blue eyes
You won't DIE, not today, and I'd appreciate you not
Mentioning where I reside, for the life I live is so
Singular, the fight never ends, as long as I remain
Attentive to the battlefield, we cannot lose, we win
You can try to be the "picnic chick" sprawled out
Comfortably, conversing as if you belong, I don't so
Let him go, I never understood what you saw
In his manner, his haughty, stubborn, ability to
Piss you off, and make you cry, where did you
Mirror this thing you called "love" and do you
Imagine you'll find peace in his tunnel, softness in his
Touch, that deep unrelenting LOVE in his heart, did you
Forget about me, keeping you alive, safe from harm, letting
You pull up the chains and run "just so far" did you know
Sometimes I wonder who is in charge here, and if you'll go
To leave me behind, I'm just a little girl, "hey you"
Get out of my sandbox, leave my toys alone
There is no one home to cook dinner, or read
You the bedtime story you never heard, there is
One beached whale and a half empty fifth of Seagrams
Run, from me, just go, how easy to forget that I come first
The men are just a list of conquests, war torn ego ridden
Fools who jack off if they lose entry, and think just a
Moment later about the next time around, you can't love
Him, if you do I'll suffocate, and change to someone we
Can't be, come back home, right here, stand by me, don't
Go...Now go away I've had it, don't cry or
Beg for a partner, a marriage, a way to be
Human, the old pastor is at the funeral home
Ready for you to call, get in the coffin, die
He is there, so strong, you look into his eyes with such
LOVE, frozen am I to see you, expand, grow fill with light
Don't you see "I love you" and am helpless to the end, to
The mother who murdered me, broke my child's heart in
One thousand unattached pieces, I cannot find her she is
GONE, gone with the wind, burned to a thousand ashes
Firing Hell with her scorn, her ugly FEAR is
Alive, well, tripping you, making you fall
How is it you, love, despite her hate I must
Leave you now, cannot stomach your fate and
That sparrow is sitting so calm, awaiting your entrance
He stares straight ahead, past me, and beyond the dream
Turned nightmare, and you will go to him, until the pain
Stops, and the love grows bigger, so "forget about me"
I won't forget you, and the battalion is growing inside
Me until the last grenade pops, and the battery acid
Forever burns my heart cold
"I'll miss you Karen"
Good bye...
