There is No Place
Karen Hallenbeck-Sikorsky-George BSRN
June 14th, 2007
The lie grew large, an arabesque blob of fate, smearing like an un wiped
Baby's bottom, across a heart that never gave you the "time of day..."
Triplicated, duplicated, fornicated; this lie became your daily life and
Underneath the soft blanket (I bought) you hid, quivering, sniffling, lost
Like the animal (you are), beaten down like a railroad tie, deep, as dark
As caverns untouched one century or more, you faded, aged, died
In me remains life, like a tiny tulip bulb pressing the hard
Shell to extend, to fertile dark earth, wiggling upward toward
Sun, light, all that is new (I am), and while I traveled this short
"Down the block" trip, you rooted like a rat burrowing in the lie
There is no place you go today that I choose to follow, there is no home
Large enough for us to exist (in peace), and your cruel words are like
Helium balloons popping at the slightest pressure, falling down like
Weak kneed arthritic men begging for mercy, today the visual I retain
Is that sour faced, purple bruised (what's that) bitch, breaking in a window
Again (just like you said), and the destiny of a little girl, (her child) fades away...
I am a good mother, she is unfit, not to mention she beat
Her spawn in jealousy, and to see why she is dying is simple
No one disease, but she, the soul of a festered sore spewing pus
(That is) she, a cross beyond a reptile, but human formed, amen
She will take the crumbs on the floor, remain in the swamp, just waiting
For you to leave (unlocked door lazy you), and break and enter again a
Home that never speaks of love, a place of stale memories created and
Never cleaned years before I came into your life, with God's breath
Scattered in my words of grace, my thoughts of caring, my kindest heart
My derision mere sex, my outcome clear, "I am" opposite of she, I am...
She is a cross between a whore, and the unpaid fat slut they call
It female in America, but women around the world are not this way
On hands and knees grateful for any man's attention, (not I),
Alone, hungry, fattened for the kill, useless to self much less you...
The crime is murder, do not take the soul of an innocent child and
Put her on a missing child site, do not hit your child in self-hatred nor
Bear the wound of your parents on your sleeve, there never is an excuse
The charge is held in heaven's gate, where entry is transparent to those
Who never ask admittance, never beg for forgiveness, who know at the end
The Lord taketh, giveth, and keepth those dear and near to His heart...
Infinite grace, the pale blue melon flavored sky of West Texas
Reminds me of purity, and the taste of tart ice pop (grape) upon
My hungry tongue, if the dark night is close to 100 degrees
Than day might render hard wind, (west) and a simple breeze
Oh wind of change take me home, for now the culture, intellect, and lesser
Sky of the Commonwealth is upon me; their chatter less memorable but
I am of the loving mother's heart to resolve the past in no time frame but
Living in today, swimming in thick humid air past the James, always yes
Does Midland, Texas call me "home" I am a child of the Great One who
Passes through the lived lives on earth, on angelic voyage home, heaven is...
Turn the key in the lock, it has not been changed, and he hates
Me for leaving so many times that the number 100 is so small, so distant
I have loved him in the low tide of the sea, never the high tide when
Crashing into shore I immediately swam under the breakers to leave
"I am gone from you" and no choice was made with dime store Cajun cops
Standing like overweight apes in your house, making niceties with me alas
It is too little too late, and this bruised myopic muddy colored dying statue
Fell like cracked Play Doh, her shrieking holler, pathetic cries did not tell
An honest word, little did I believe, (it was this horrible) and yet you have
Proclaimed "I will never change" and your many battles won, the medals gone?
A hospital closed down speaks of intensive care, poor condition and
She receives last chances from a sickened husband driving furiously
Across state lines to retrieve the worst part of a woman who lost a child
I sat here typing, pondering, and God filled me with HIS strength not I...
My dog saved from the sewer is almost seven years old, he is meek but
Huge, and will never know tender love, a bath, a day of sunlight and joy
You claimed him on my guilt list, and he would never fit anyhow not in my
"Norma Jean GLI" who has yet to break 150 mph (but will), and I will put
This furry mess away in my heart (where memory of first dirt storm lives),
Pray for the enemy (now there is none), walk invisibly from you forevermore..
Energy is slow to build within my frail form, it enters in small particles
Osmosis of the air, nutrients daintily eaten (drank), and the building block
Is just ONE for God, she is (me), and graciously I will walk, not turning
Back (to you), and your chattel maid will break and enter again this time
You can weep, pray, and turn to change; the Father will forgive you (not I),
The amends made, the freedom slow to seep into my wanting spiritual plain
But drop by drop the serenity forms, like whipped cream layer on top of
Banana pie, I am still married to a man who could not have all of me (then)
He is the vestal virgin in my life "I love you so" and will remain yours till the
Very end of time (on earth) and beyond, this magnolia blossom scents of
You my true love, not he
The anger is foreign to me
Hate is not love, kindness is the
Key to loving as God does love
You, yes me, oh we are...
ONE, His fertile plain in our
Tender space, our marital bed, yes
There is no place for hate..
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Sunday, June 03, 2007
One plus +
Forward Arm
Karen Hallenbeck-Sikorsky-George BSRN
Sunday June 3rd, 2007
How many blades of grass, dandelions of weed insignia do you see
Blinded with your dark sunglasses, begging to ignore the simplest
Creations, the rose bush remains unwatered, dry, potted in dark plastic
Bearing down dry root rot like a pregnant sow having to birth, release the
Weighted burden from her inner part, there is a reproductive madness
In the living; animal, human, plant, creatures of existence, we must see
The island pink, the air clear, the temperature moderate
No one part offends or caresses my skin, why must my
Human whole fall apart before the honest truth fills me up
A gallon of gas, water, or milk; we are but one of HIS endings
The child repeats words, sounds, and her small face is emotionless
Portraying the replication of generations of want, fear, where is the kind
Giving present wrapped in foil, this complicated layer of indecision wears
Me thin, like water forming ice; not quite born, not yet ready to bear weight
Try to get on your feet, take one step at a time, allow empty nothing to
Give you solace, serenity, even love; if you get beyond this surly past time
Of judging the life that erects towers whether you want it or not
If you are given a ride, then return one, if it means carrying another
On your broken back in the heat of hell then lift that person up higher
Yes so much higher than you, the test tube of life is over, now
Is the last moment, the clock does not tick, there is no date or year
The sun rises, the moon sits expectant, imagine grandmother knitting a
Warm wool sweater, how it itches your skin, and the tears can fall
In sorrow, hate, or happiness; do not think, plan, return to sender for
The dollar signs rear like stallions to fight who HE made you to be
I know little but this, and misery is our life foundation, here, on earth
Blonde hair, dark skin, crimson eyes, mixtures of cake
Flavors of ice cream, tornado vestige, hurricane laugh, the
Triumphant appendage of an amputated snake head does
Not change the moment of faith, the light of hope, the spirit
I smoke Kool 100's in the box, why do I imitate my father's habit
He died almost 40 years ago but I'll chew my fingernails, laugh that
Silly laugh, remember him watching football on a Sunday afternoon,
And the heart attack that ended his life is just as gray and clammy
As his skin as he suffered irreversible pain, life's ending here and I
Will miss him (as I do me) when the afternoon rain removes heat
To be is not to know, and today there is not one speck
Of intellect left in this gifted mind, this body that is frail
Recuperating from infection, and still ready to trust a
Foreign car to guide me east, south, or nowhere
The grace is here, hidden on your address book
Black pen poised to write your name
We share a marriage, two names became one
Are you okay, or have you fallen down needle in vein
To remain a blade of grass hidden in torrential rain...
Karen Hallenbeck-Sikorsky-George BSRN
Sunday June 3rd, 2007
How many blades of grass, dandelions of weed insignia do you see
Blinded with your dark sunglasses, begging to ignore the simplest
Creations, the rose bush remains unwatered, dry, potted in dark plastic
Bearing down dry root rot like a pregnant sow having to birth, release the
Weighted burden from her inner part, there is a reproductive madness
In the living; animal, human, plant, creatures of existence, we must see
The island pink, the air clear, the temperature moderate
No one part offends or caresses my skin, why must my
Human whole fall apart before the honest truth fills me up
A gallon of gas, water, or milk; we are but one of HIS endings
The child repeats words, sounds, and her small face is emotionless
Portraying the replication of generations of want, fear, where is the kind
Giving present wrapped in foil, this complicated layer of indecision wears
Me thin, like water forming ice; not quite born, not yet ready to bear weight
Try to get on your feet, take one step at a time, allow empty nothing to
Give you solace, serenity, even love; if you get beyond this surly past time
Of judging the life that erects towers whether you want it or not
If you are given a ride, then return one, if it means carrying another
On your broken back in the heat of hell then lift that person up higher
Yes so much higher than you, the test tube of life is over, now
Is the last moment, the clock does not tick, there is no date or year
The sun rises, the moon sits expectant, imagine grandmother knitting a
Warm wool sweater, how it itches your skin, and the tears can fall
In sorrow, hate, or happiness; do not think, plan, return to sender for
The dollar signs rear like stallions to fight who HE made you to be
I know little but this, and misery is our life foundation, here, on earth
Blonde hair, dark skin, crimson eyes, mixtures of cake
Flavors of ice cream, tornado vestige, hurricane laugh, the
Triumphant appendage of an amputated snake head does
Not change the moment of faith, the light of hope, the spirit
I smoke Kool 100's in the box, why do I imitate my father's habit
He died almost 40 years ago but I'll chew my fingernails, laugh that
Silly laugh, remember him watching football on a Sunday afternoon,
And the heart attack that ended his life is just as gray and clammy
As his skin as he suffered irreversible pain, life's ending here and I
Will miss him (as I do me) when the afternoon rain removes heat
To be is not to know, and today there is not one speck
Of intellect left in this gifted mind, this body that is frail
Recuperating from infection, and still ready to trust a
Foreign car to guide me east, south, or nowhere
The grace is here, hidden on your address book
Black pen poised to write your name
We share a marriage, two names became one
Are you okay, or have you fallen down needle in vein
To remain a blade of grass hidden in torrential rain...
"Karen writes in 3's...." :-)
Robin Dancing Mud Puddle
Karen Hallenbeck-Sikorsky-George BSRN
Sunday June 3rd, 2007
Citronella candle chase the insects from my skin, flies; summer squalor
Heat bending me, tin foil crisp, this body dies; falls, the treetops pollution
Sends me over the edge (of a cliff) in a sweet hometown place, where
Grandma is crippled with arthritis; smiling over a blueberry muffin
Aspirin is enough for there is never enough, today two robins swim
Flutter wings, the rain pours, the thunder sounds, a million drops
Wrong way sign no stop, no go, try to walk to
A place dry, warm (not cold), remember down
Comforter, New England snow, rubber galoshes
Warm red mittens bright, take me now, me, yes...
Flies cluster, multiply, mate and feed on waste, don't land (they do)
Itching skin, the air so thick (cannot breathe), and the light does not
Clear my blurry vision, there is NO paper doll place to play, no supper
Dish to encourage me to eat, food sits, remains, rots, inside my gut
Outside to gather air, particles of country feed, this pasture is toxic
Misfit moron can't you see (are you talking to self), star night so bright
I pray for you, see us touching, one finger laced into
Mine, the electric magnet of skin, the eternal embrace
Did not know love (did you), and your heroin mistress waits
In hiding, pray for you again tonight, are you okay?
Driving across the country (due east or south), west is where it is home
The heartland of my revelation, God drove me here without conscious
Thought, HE plowed down disease, created tolerance, erected a
Mansion built on desert dirt (not sand), and the infinite clouds, endless
Sky, no beginning or end horizon, filled me with saddest tears, missing
My children, fruit of my womb, guilt partied heavily, won, robbed me, you...
Little child tapping restlessly, grocery store line is
That your mother, so unlike you immersed in food
While you (like I) read magazines far beyond your
Years, your face a pout, like fine china, blue eyes
Memory, is a barren wind, today it comes to evacuate the prisoner within
She has served time behind the wall, drenched in sweat, deep PAIN
Headache vision, no place to go; she paces in circles never to find
Sleep, there is no surge of happiness, no serene smile, no gentle place
Until now, touch your hand from afar, will 'we meet one more time'
Marry in the round surface of a stone plain, no desert, just us two
This child is empty, beautifully formed, but dead to the
Wonder of sunrise, purple mountains in the Berkshires
Easter egg dumpling fall leaves scattered, as the first
Snow enters like a rapist in the morning night, filling her
With first blizzard, she sits on a wooden bench, bundled so tight you'd
Think "can she walk or move" and she falls to her knees in prayer
So slight a form, growing year by year, the hands form artistic flower
Petals with plain pencil on off white paper, smudging emotions on a
Lineless face, is she to see the truth, now twenty, maybe forty years old
The tunnel is wide enough for her to walk, cane poised, now eighty to die
I will travel by train today, the jet burns my ears, pops my
Clarity, there is a simple gray haired man smiling, wearing
Cherry red bow tie, his eyes alight, sparkle (he is mine)
My legs long in conservative high heels, no lace, so hot
The song playing is indiscernible, a small merry go round slowly turns
He bows (gentleman), and lifts me up on my blue silken horse like a
Knight, and the breeze tickles my cheeks, moistened by stray tears
We are together, around we go, stirring all the good and the bad leaves
As if purged, and never did it hurt like this (faith), and we are truly one
"I do" and will, his lips melt into mine, and morning doves opera awaits
Where do I go from here, are you wondering if we can be
Did you find the heart beating alone in Texas, I left it for you
Beside a tumbleweed traveling from Lubbock in a dirt storm
Come to me (I dare you), make me see the love (I care)...
That pelican escaped the bayou
That storm drain is dry, rusty, no water flows
That preacher fornicated the harlot and did not come
That mountain is just a hill, will flatten by dawn
That pebble came from an ocean in Africa
That life is to be lived, just with you...
Karen Hallenbeck-Sikorsky-George BSRN
Sunday June 3rd, 2007
Tall pine tree, scent strong, please lift me high enough to see
I am blind, this trip in circles became punishment, one day
In deep sleep, the day began and I could not see (you)
God knows this little girl, is unable to do one action without
Two eyes focused on the truth, turnip patch in cold fall
Burrowed deep, boil them, make them like mashed potatoes
Left so many times on highways from here to
Louisiana, back to Texas, the one trip back to
Virginia emptied my heart, sent me spinning and
Sick back to you (say you love me), to go west
If I just cry, so many do, the tears will dry, nothing will better
Pancakes are hard to make, but sweet to the taste, my tongue
Attuned to finer wants, my hands clenched, to fight you the
Prizefighter, who won, and at the end the bell rung and school
Was over (for the day), and the FEAR grew, errant weeds
Cluttered my restless mind, my legs carried me, where did I go?
To be of you, to despise you, to be of me
Subtle choices, women make them daily
Marriage lasts for years, for some a lifetime
Disparity, thankless coupling, just go away
Leave me alone, I hate you, go far from me, do not scream at
My spirit, destroy my self-respect; dishonor my loving heart not
Today or tomorrow, yesterday was black, sewer scented, ugly
Monster life please die, this hospital bed hurts my back and the
Needle in my arm is foreign, remove me from you (dear God)
Let me ice skate on that winter day when New Jersey dropped
Ten below zero and school was called out
No one in their right mind would go by the river
But there I slipped on black leather boy skates
Bundled so tight to breathe hurt, I was a lone star...
I should know by now where to go, how to dry my muddy feet
Wash a load of clothes, buy groceries, cook a simple meal
Alone...Reproduce the good moments in this too long life
Stare out in the velvet night sky from the warehouse windows
Pleasure filled, happy, content enough to repeat this act
Called life, another day; then a week until I am a routine
Walk that dog and balance your checkbook
Pay the bills, visit the soup kitchen, smile and
Give kind words from true thoughts like gifts
Wrapped in silver bows on Christmas Day, give
All of you even when you become empty
Your thirst will lead you to cold water and you
Will know God repays HIS goodness reflected in
Your life beyond your need, do not fear single
Purpose, it is eternal life, to begin on earth, first...
(3)
Ugly Trellis
Karen Hallenbeck-Sikorsky-George BSRN
Sunday June 3rd, 2007
The grapes are rotted dry, on that old white trellis, untended
Purple wine will have to wait, the land once fertile, wet, is
Scoured with drought, the farmers are gone, died, they are
Buried in the church cemetery beyond that stone gate and
Ill tended no one replaced the old preacher, when the
Congregation built a coveted place, inside the town, here
Children grew up for at least one hundred years
Held several mothers, watched their parents work
Grow, be, and then die; go to heaven in honesty
Obey the commandments, do not stray far
The old well went dry, spring fed it just stopped giving water
The house sold for half it's worth, and the last family
Childless moved a thousand miles to a big city, not guilty
As they ended a century of tradition, the grape vines withered
Fall rains renewed the well (it was not dry), and a new
Couple came in painting walls, cutting the apple trees down
Next summer some grapes fought on green leafy vine
To grow, but the family went west for the summer and
When fall entered cold, fighting for winter snow the
Grapes shrunk, died, and no one noticed, not one...
Civilization changed the town, and the history book closed
That horse and buggy ideology ended, polluted sports cars
Forced paved roads, and the property values soared like
Fast paced jet planes, plowing down the way God made it
Children became latch key, Mommy and Daddy worked
The family died, the simple way of night and day ended
Remind me ofreminded me when it was due back
The gray haired librarian who helped
Me pick a book, she lived alone, but smiled when children like I
Filled her day, you must be quiet when you read here
I saw a hummingbird it was so fast
Plain brown in coloration that when it left
I forgot it came
Be not of what you are, be what HE created
Be you...
Karen Hallenbeck-Sikorsky-George BSRN
Sunday June 3rd, 2007
Citronella candle chase the insects from my skin, flies; summer squalor
Heat bending me, tin foil crisp, this body dies; falls, the treetops pollution
Sends me over the edge (of a cliff) in a sweet hometown place, where
Grandma is crippled with arthritis; smiling over a blueberry muffin
Aspirin is enough for there is never enough, today two robins swim
Flutter wings, the rain pours, the thunder sounds, a million drops
Wrong way sign no stop, no go, try to walk to
A place dry, warm (not cold), remember down
Comforter, New England snow, rubber galoshes
Warm red mittens bright, take me now, me, yes...
Flies cluster, multiply, mate and feed on waste, don't land (they do)
Itching skin, the air so thick (cannot breathe), and the light does not
Clear my blurry vision, there is NO paper doll place to play, no supper
Dish to encourage me to eat, food sits, remains, rots, inside my gut
Outside to gather air, particles of country feed, this pasture is toxic
Misfit moron can't you see (are you talking to self), star night so bright
I pray for you, see us touching, one finger laced into
Mine, the electric magnet of skin, the eternal embrace
Did not know love (did you), and your heroin mistress waits
In hiding, pray for you again tonight, are you okay?
Driving across the country (due east or south), west is where it is home
The heartland of my revelation, God drove me here without conscious
Thought, HE plowed down disease, created tolerance, erected a
Mansion built on desert dirt (not sand), and the infinite clouds, endless
Sky, no beginning or end horizon, filled me with saddest tears, missing
My children, fruit of my womb, guilt partied heavily, won, robbed me, you...
Little child tapping restlessly, grocery store line is
That your mother, so unlike you immersed in food
While you (like I) read magazines far beyond your
Years, your face a pout, like fine china, blue eyes
Memory, is a barren wind, today it comes to evacuate the prisoner within
She has served time behind the wall, drenched in sweat, deep PAIN
Headache vision, no place to go; she paces in circles never to find
Sleep, there is no surge of happiness, no serene smile, no gentle place
Until now, touch your hand from afar, will 'we meet one more time'
Marry in the round surface of a stone plain, no desert, just us two
This child is empty, beautifully formed, but dead to the
Wonder of sunrise, purple mountains in the Berkshires
Easter egg dumpling fall leaves scattered, as the first
Snow enters like a rapist in the morning night, filling her
With first blizzard, she sits on a wooden bench, bundled so tight you'd
Think "can she walk or move" and she falls to her knees in prayer
So slight a form, growing year by year, the hands form artistic flower
Petals with plain pencil on off white paper, smudging emotions on a
Lineless face, is she to see the truth, now twenty, maybe forty years old
The tunnel is wide enough for her to walk, cane poised, now eighty to die
I will travel by train today, the jet burns my ears, pops my
Clarity, there is a simple gray haired man smiling, wearing
Cherry red bow tie, his eyes alight, sparkle (he is mine)
My legs long in conservative high heels, no lace, so hot
The song playing is indiscernible, a small merry go round slowly turns
He bows (gentleman), and lifts me up on my blue silken horse like a
Knight, and the breeze tickles my cheeks, moistened by stray tears
We are together, around we go, stirring all the good and the bad leaves
As if purged, and never did it hurt like this (faith), and we are truly one
"I do" and will, his lips melt into mine, and morning doves opera awaits
Where do I go from here, are you wondering if we can be
Did you find the heart beating alone in Texas, I left it for you
Beside a tumbleweed traveling from Lubbock in a dirt storm
Come to me (I dare you), make me see the love (I care)...
That pelican escaped the bayou
That storm drain is dry, rusty, no water flows
That preacher fornicated the harlot and did not come
That mountain is just a hill, will flatten by dawn
That pebble came from an ocean in Africa
That life is to be lived, just with you...
(2)
Chatter BeeKaren Hallenbeck-Sikorsky-George BSRN
Sunday June 3rd, 2007
Tall pine tree, scent strong, please lift me high enough to see
I am blind, this trip in circles became punishment, one day
In deep sleep, the day began and I could not see (you)
God knows this little girl, is unable to do one action without
Two eyes focused on the truth, turnip patch in cold fall
Burrowed deep, boil them, make them like mashed potatoes
Left so many times on highways from here to
Louisiana, back to Texas, the one trip back to
Virginia emptied my heart, sent me spinning and
Sick back to you (say you love me), to go west
If I just cry, so many do, the tears will dry, nothing will better
Pancakes are hard to make, but sweet to the taste, my tongue
Attuned to finer wants, my hands clenched, to fight you the
Prizefighter, who won, and at the end the bell rung and school
Was over (for the day), and the FEAR grew, errant weeds
Cluttered my restless mind, my legs carried me, where did I go?
To be of you, to despise you, to be of me
Subtle choices, women make them daily
Marriage lasts for years, for some a lifetime
Disparity, thankless coupling, just go away
Leave me alone, I hate you, go far from me, do not scream at
My spirit, destroy my self-respect; dishonor my loving heart not
Today or tomorrow, yesterday was black, sewer scented, ugly
Monster life please die, this hospital bed hurts my back and the
Needle in my arm is foreign, remove me from you (dear God)
Let me ice skate on that winter day when New Jersey dropped
Ten below zero and school was called out
No one in their right mind would go by the river
But there I slipped on black leather boy skates
Bundled so tight to breathe hurt, I was a lone star...
I should know by now where to go, how to dry my muddy feet
Wash a load of clothes, buy groceries, cook a simple meal
Alone...Reproduce the good moments in this too long life
Stare out in the velvet night sky from the warehouse windows
Pleasure filled, happy, content enough to repeat this act
Called life, another day; then a week until I am a routine
Walk that dog and balance your checkbook
Pay the bills, visit the soup kitchen, smile and
Give kind words from true thoughts like gifts
Wrapped in silver bows on Christmas Day, give
All of you even when you become empty
Your thirst will lead you to cold water and you
Will know God repays HIS goodness reflected in
Your life beyond your need, do not fear single
Purpose, it is eternal life, to begin on earth, first...
(3)
Ugly Trellis
Karen Hallenbeck-Sikorsky-George BSRN
Sunday June 3rd, 2007
The grapes are rotted dry, on that old white trellis, untended
Purple wine will have to wait, the land once fertile, wet, is
Scoured with drought, the farmers are gone, died, they are
Buried in the church cemetery beyond that stone gate and
Ill tended no one replaced the old preacher, when the
Congregation built a coveted place, inside the town, here
Children grew up for at least one hundred years
Held several mothers, watched their parents work
Grow, be, and then die; go to heaven in honesty
Obey the commandments, do not stray far
The old well went dry, spring fed it just stopped giving water
The house sold for half it's worth, and the last family
Childless moved a thousand miles to a big city, not guilty
As they ended a century of tradition, the grape vines withered
Fall rains renewed the well (it was not dry), and a new
Couple came in painting walls, cutting the apple trees down
Next summer some grapes fought on green leafy vine
To grow, but the family went west for the summer and
When fall entered cold, fighting for winter snow the
Grapes shrunk, died, and no one noticed, not one...
Civilization changed the town, and the history book closed
That horse and buggy ideology ended, polluted sports cars
Forced paved roads, and the property values soared like
Fast paced jet planes, plowing down the way God made it
Children became latch key, Mommy and Daddy worked
The family died, the simple way of night and day ended
Remind me ofreminded me when it was due back
The gray haired librarian who helped
Me pick a book, she lived alone, but smiled when children like I
Filled her day, you must be quiet when you read here
I saw a hummingbird it was so fast
Plain brown in coloration that when it left
I forgot it came
Be not of what you are, be what HE created
Be you...
Friday, June 01, 2007
Ohio is in the U.S.
Gray Goose Go there..
Karen Hallenbeck-Sikorsky-George BS,RN
Friday June 1st, 2007
This heat is boiling my thoughts, they are fried like death chips
Grains of sand, feet burrowing in wet sea salt, further out waves clip
Each other back to back, the tide weaves out, the sun downs into
A horizon of distance, thousands of miles away, perhaps you have never
Felt that cool water and salt upon your skin, if so the sweat will be
Washed away, and you will sleep deeply, air conditioned room, the night
Meadows, pastures, animal scents, a barn maybe two
Amish women with bonnets, black orthopedic shoes, they
Are deep "down sullen angry unhappy" and life is too simple
Beyond the acres down to the dirt road, they do not pay taxes
Restless urge to cause them destruction, and pull them out of this fantasy
Called religion, God is kind and loving, created this perfect world and yet
Adam and Eve damaged the apple, we are living in actions of sin, we are
Not pagan queens hidden in the country, judging the many millions who
Work hard, sleep fitfully, cannot see the simple roses blooming in June
Gain weight, die young, enter heavens gate with the God who loves us all
I just could not cool down, the hottest year in eighty they claim
No air conditioning to blunt the death knife of heat and RSD, no
Disclaimer or turning back, arrived here post sepsis, frail as a reed
Empty and knowing it all (one more time), grateful for friends here
Clover abounds in the green grass, two lilac bushes without bloom, a
Black angora cat, a gray tabby, goats baying next door, freak llamas
Too many trees, and the ground holds the WET till your pain becomes
Constant, it is not much different than home but for the cooler inside
Realms of a house, deep south states you will die without it, me too
Exhausted after sleep, it would not matter, the heat kills me
Ice pops saved me from intestinal fury in Austin, poisoned
By concentration camp survivor, Jew bitch and Jew son
Rallying the Houston loop, home on a Thursday, it is too
Cleared out, the disaster appeared Sunday, you chose me
Texas, west of Austin, Midland is my home, "I hail from West Texas"
This cannot be true (it is), and somewhere eight years ago I came out
On a jet plane, to be safe with a pilot who was an angel, who kept me
Safe from the deeper harm of the living, today I thank you kind sir
With what is left of the "me" you once knew, and the "Karen" that is
Living, speaking, breathing God's will, ending the emotional violence
My eyes still turn aqua blue when I cry, and today
Tears are wasted, those who have yet to walk the path
To truth will cry many rivers, and like me they will see
Clearly enough to reach out their hand to the drowning
I cannot stand heat, for it makes me insane, I cannot work
Smile, lift an arm to do a thing, with suffocation boiling me over
Spilling me into the vat of suicide, so my ride awaits me, gassed
Up, silver steed, dark highway night will beckon and I will go
South, not east, not this time, maybe next for I SO LOVE YOU
My daughters, so want to find our peace, resolution, our heart
Try not to skip over those rocks
Baby geese waddle towards their mother
Following so slow they might die in this heat
A sound follows, gunshots, they are in the
Lukewarm water, downy feathers stop...
Karen Hallenbeck-Sikorsky-George BS,RN
Friday June 1st, 2007
This heat is boiling my thoughts, they are fried like death chips
Grains of sand, feet burrowing in wet sea salt, further out waves clip
Each other back to back, the tide weaves out, the sun downs into
A horizon of distance, thousands of miles away, perhaps you have never
Felt that cool water and salt upon your skin, if so the sweat will be
Washed away, and you will sleep deeply, air conditioned room, the night
Meadows, pastures, animal scents, a barn maybe two
Amish women with bonnets, black orthopedic shoes, they
Are deep "down sullen angry unhappy" and life is too simple
Beyond the acres down to the dirt road, they do not pay taxes
Restless urge to cause them destruction, and pull them out of this fantasy
Called religion, God is kind and loving, created this perfect world and yet
Adam and Eve damaged the apple, we are living in actions of sin, we are
Not pagan queens hidden in the country, judging the many millions who
Work hard, sleep fitfully, cannot see the simple roses blooming in June
Gain weight, die young, enter heavens gate with the God who loves us all
I just could not cool down, the hottest year in eighty they claim
No air conditioning to blunt the death knife of heat and RSD, no
Disclaimer or turning back, arrived here post sepsis, frail as a reed
Empty and knowing it all (one more time), grateful for friends here
Clover abounds in the green grass, two lilac bushes without bloom, a
Black angora cat, a gray tabby, goats baying next door, freak llamas
Too many trees, and the ground holds the WET till your pain becomes
Constant, it is not much different than home but for the cooler inside
Realms of a house, deep south states you will die without it, me too
Exhausted after sleep, it would not matter, the heat kills me
Ice pops saved me from intestinal fury in Austin, poisoned
By concentration camp survivor, Jew bitch and Jew son
Rallying the Houston loop, home on a Thursday, it is too
Cleared out, the disaster appeared Sunday, you chose me
Texas, west of Austin, Midland is my home, "I hail from West Texas"
This cannot be true (it is), and somewhere eight years ago I came out
On a jet plane, to be safe with a pilot who was an angel, who kept me
Safe from the deeper harm of the living, today I thank you kind sir
With what is left of the "me" you once knew, and the "Karen" that is
Living, speaking, breathing God's will, ending the emotional violence
My eyes still turn aqua blue when I cry, and today
Tears are wasted, those who have yet to walk the path
To truth will cry many rivers, and like me they will see
Clearly enough to reach out their hand to the drowning
I cannot stand heat, for it makes me insane, I cannot work
Smile, lift an arm to do a thing, with suffocation boiling me over
Spilling me into the vat of suicide, so my ride awaits me, gassed
Up, silver steed, dark highway night will beckon and I will go
South, not east, not this time, maybe next for I SO LOVE YOU
My daughters, so want to find our peace, resolution, our heart
Try not to skip over those rocks
Baby geese waddle towards their mother
Following so slow they might die in this heat
A sound follows, gunshots, they are in the
Lukewarm water, downy feathers stop...
Across America, then home...you
Dry as Desert Dust
Karen Hallenbeck-Sikorsky-George BS,RN
Friday June 1st, 2007
There is a plain, far yet near, inside your spiritual ending, it is
Waiting for a whisper, edging closer when you least expect it
To you I sing one simple song, clearer now, and louder than
The anthem of sadness etched in your powerful heart, it beats
Like a primitive drum, sadly broken by a child abused, used
By her sickest mother, just a nest to birth, spit out, dead one
The leaden weight lifted, it is hot summer day
The playground is empty by that old school
Grade school is just a million years away
Don't hold my hand in your heart, hold me close
Highways are not the same, the confusion that last day was
Boundless, stuck like glue in traffic, one stop light became
One hundred, stick shift gnawing rat holes of pain inside my
Skin, legs became lead weights, did you think once that I was
So far away I might never look back, it was so easy long ago
When forgiveness meant flowers, a word spoken, a touch
Yankees are not me, I was one once
They hear my drawl, laugh, smile, look sadly
Serious as they contemplate is she really here
Will she stay, she cannot be here, she'll die
Simple food, dead air stagnant like a tropical blaze, scalding
My truth, it hurts to know I failed at this trip, so many before
For the beginning and end are just one round circle and the
Miles are wasted time, the energy better spent cooling off
Wiping the sweat from my brow, knowing that I must remain
Still, like an infant yet born, breathing slow, with gentle sleep
Thank you for having me here, where am I
Who are these odd people who don't have fun
Where are the vestiges of America for I've come
Across this great land to see explosions, life
It is no less barren, frozen, burned to a crisp than other towns
Cultures drifted, life became the Vietnam war, the soldiers and
Battalions spent months, years stepping over land mines and
You never knew how lucky you were in the arms of a sick one
Who loves you endlessly, who will scream and yell in fear
If he thinks you are leaving, waiting perhaps for a holiday alone
I punched the clock, your face follows
No more crying, yelling, just a sweet smile
Thinking of how we don't have to answer
To anyone but our beating heart, right here
The ballet dancer is poised, so very innocent, palest pink light
Shimmers across her face, high cheek bones shadow two tears
Clear dew drops of life, oh she loves yes she does, even one it
Is you, do follow her across this wooden stage, polished with
Wax, slippery, her steps guide you back to the place you never
Dared go, her heart is yours, now take her to the store, do so
We are out of Coke
Need coffee, some bottled water
Just a taste, a subtle glance over
Time stops, I love you, yes
I am here, home, for you...
Karen Hallenbeck-Sikorsky-George BS,RN
Friday June 1st, 2007
There is a plain, far yet near, inside your spiritual ending, it is
Waiting for a whisper, edging closer when you least expect it
To you I sing one simple song, clearer now, and louder than
The anthem of sadness etched in your powerful heart, it beats
Like a primitive drum, sadly broken by a child abused, used
By her sickest mother, just a nest to birth, spit out, dead one
The leaden weight lifted, it is hot summer day
The playground is empty by that old school
Grade school is just a million years away
Don't hold my hand in your heart, hold me close
Highways are not the same, the confusion that last day was
Boundless, stuck like glue in traffic, one stop light became
One hundred, stick shift gnawing rat holes of pain inside my
Skin, legs became lead weights, did you think once that I was
So far away I might never look back, it was so easy long ago
When forgiveness meant flowers, a word spoken, a touch
Yankees are not me, I was one once
They hear my drawl, laugh, smile, look sadly
Serious as they contemplate is she really here
Will she stay, she cannot be here, she'll die
Simple food, dead air stagnant like a tropical blaze, scalding
My truth, it hurts to know I failed at this trip, so many before
For the beginning and end are just one round circle and the
Miles are wasted time, the energy better spent cooling off
Wiping the sweat from my brow, knowing that I must remain
Still, like an infant yet born, breathing slow, with gentle sleep
Thank you for having me here, where am I
Who are these odd people who don't have fun
Where are the vestiges of America for I've come
Across this great land to see explosions, life
It is no less barren, frozen, burned to a crisp than other towns
Cultures drifted, life became the Vietnam war, the soldiers and
Battalions spent months, years stepping over land mines and
You never knew how lucky you were in the arms of a sick one
Who loves you endlessly, who will scream and yell in fear
If he thinks you are leaving, waiting perhaps for a holiday alone
I punched the clock, your face follows
No more crying, yelling, just a sweet smile
Thinking of how we don't have to answer
To anyone but our beating heart, right here
The ballet dancer is poised, so very innocent, palest pink light
Shimmers across her face, high cheek bones shadow two tears
Clear dew drops of life, oh she loves yes she does, even one it
Is you, do follow her across this wooden stage, polished with
Wax, slippery, her steps guide you back to the place you never
Dared go, her heart is yours, now take her to the store, do so
We are out of Coke
Need coffee, some bottled water
Just a taste, a subtle glance over
Time stops, I love you, yes
I am here, home, for you...
Elephant lagging behind....
No
by
Karen Hallenbeck-Sikorsky-George BS,RN
May 31st, 2007
Opal sun, desert moon, no more I walk this line of endless you
No worth to pray the hope is scattered, over on the garden rose
Petal drop upon my tears, you rose, pinker and bright, no seed
I am but flower light, the dark shatters, splinters the pain, the
Surging sea pounds me deeper, further, below all abyss, the core
Is timeless, this second of death, is tearing me to shreds like
Over bleached cotton stripped, and unbuttoned shirt, it
Falls open and my bare breasts cannot be touched again
By you or others staring deep into my heart, it is empty
I desire nothing but this warehouse wall, this my home is
No to you, for I walk gingerly barefoot, my hands hang limp
Exhaustion passed light years ago, the furnace simmers, awaits
The devil for my trade, he will die for there is no baby face of
Innocent day to give, the jewel glimmers like a rare emerald
Far to the left of the stucco house somewhere in Brazil and
This dark skinned maid brings sweet coffee (no) to you, not me
Cry out no recluse the world stands near me laughing
A spider pins my skin, injects venom I hurt again the
Delirium festers sopping flesh you think the lie begins
Ends, middles to the gorgeous girl who died for you
She cries, crumpled pillowcase, the lies stuffed deep inside
The scent tells of days and years of lost romance, some sex
For you her bonnet flawed, no virgin, bluest eyes turn flat and
A grey saucer beyond a pot of weak tea reminds your aching
Heart that "your Karen" drinks strong, dark, hot coffee soothed
With half and half, awaken, golden angel, don't go, she flies up
Again you pick her up, this child asleep, light weight in
Your powerful arms, she is innocent but knows more than
All adults she is ravaged, she is rape incarnate, she is
Filled with towering strength, and the eagle within her
Punctures your useless heart with reddest blood, spikes you
Swivels this gunshot wound to the light she might (if she can)
Dress your festering sore with her countenance, her skin is
No longer sallow, pale; the dark circles of illness disappear she
Is free of you, free of endurance; she can lay down on this
Feather bed without a need to answer your cell phone calls
Where this highway went beat her down it was local road
Town to town, red light to red light, it was a place you
Visit for the day, then turn around, go home, eat a hot meal
Your beloved nearby, feel her warmth, her endless heart
You lost the race, she did what you always aspired you are now
A knock out, this slender reed of infinite strength stared into your
Eyes where all the crying became a river, deeper than you were
Willing to accept, share; give to her as a wrapped present she
Alone is your love, she is the wife you never had, she is the good
The only pure virgin dove in your black hole, she is all of you, more
Than you deserve, when you transfer your hurt, your ball
Of rage to her gentle place, you pillage her life, steal her
Air, her cloud of white, her chance to be without you
Go find a rotting core, this skinned apple discarded go
No sense, nonsense, no sense, this is a circle that broke
This band of silence is deafening, the sounds of music berate you
Just a stray blade of grass there are millions in this one foot patch
She wants to find her end alone, she is staring out at the skylight
Eastern night, tall buildings she recognizes, a life, her history her
Being is here, do not enter; you are trespassing, cop a charge
The heat outside is intrepid; ice and a cold Coke count
Cool the inner heat, wash the scarred and burned flesh
Tear the day glow paste from your eyes you foul beast
Do not say hello to me again, for good bye is all that
I offer this day, is a date
No...
I said it now listen, (I) will
Not repeat it a third time
No...
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