There is No Place
Karen Hallenbeck-Sikorsky-George BSRN
June 14th, 2007
The lie grew large, an arabesque blob of fate, smearing like an un wiped
Baby's bottom, across a heart that never gave you the "time of day..."
Triplicated, duplicated, fornicated; this lie became your daily life and
Underneath the soft blanket (I bought) you hid, quivering, sniffling, lost
Like the animal (you are), beaten down like a railroad tie, deep, as dark
As caverns untouched one century or more, you faded, aged, died
In me remains life, like a tiny tulip bulb pressing the hard
Shell to extend, to fertile dark earth, wiggling upward toward
Sun, light, all that is new (I am), and while I traveled this short
"Down the block" trip, you rooted like a rat burrowing in the lie
There is no place you go today that I choose to follow, there is no home
Large enough for us to exist (in peace), and your cruel words are like
Helium balloons popping at the slightest pressure, falling down like
Weak kneed arthritic men begging for mercy, today the visual I retain
Is that sour faced, purple bruised (what's that) bitch, breaking in a window
Again (just like you said), and the destiny of a little girl, (her child) fades away...
I am a good mother, she is unfit, not to mention she beat
Her spawn in jealousy, and to see why she is dying is simple
No one disease, but she, the soul of a festered sore spewing pus
(That is) she, a cross beyond a reptile, but human formed, amen
She will take the crumbs on the floor, remain in the swamp, just waiting
For you to leave (unlocked door lazy you), and break and enter again a
Home that never speaks of love, a place of stale memories created and
Never cleaned years before I came into your life, with God's breath
Scattered in my words of grace, my thoughts of caring, my kindest heart
My derision mere sex, my outcome clear, "I am" opposite of she, I am...
She is a cross between a whore, and the unpaid fat slut they call
It female in America, but women around the world are not this way
On hands and knees grateful for any man's attention, (not I),
Alone, hungry, fattened for the kill, useless to self much less you...
The crime is murder, do not take the soul of an innocent child and
Put her on a missing child site, do not hit your child in self-hatred nor
Bear the wound of your parents on your sleeve, there never is an excuse
The charge is held in heaven's gate, where entry is transparent to those
Who never ask admittance, never beg for forgiveness, who know at the end
The Lord taketh, giveth, and keepth those dear and near to His heart...
Infinite grace, the pale blue melon flavored sky of West Texas
Reminds me of purity, and the taste of tart ice pop (grape) upon
My hungry tongue, if the dark night is close to 100 degrees
Than day might render hard wind, (west) and a simple breeze
Oh wind of change take me home, for now the culture, intellect, and lesser
Sky of the Commonwealth is upon me; their chatter less memorable but
I am of the loving mother's heart to resolve the past in no time frame but
Living in today, swimming in thick humid air past the James, always yes
Does Midland, Texas call me "home" I am a child of the Great One who
Passes through the lived lives on earth, on angelic voyage home, heaven is...
Turn the key in the lock, it has not been changed, and he hates
Me for leaving so many times that the number 100 is so small, so distant
I have loved him in the low tide of the sea, never the high tide when
Crashing into shore I immediately swam under the breakers to leave
"I am gone from you" and no choice was made with dime store Cajun cops
Standing like overweight apes in your house, making niceties with me alas
It is too little too late, and this bruised myopic muddy colored dying statue
Fell like cracked Play Doh, her shrieking holler, pathetic cries did not tell
An honest word, little did I believe, (it was this horrible) and yet you have
Proclaimed "I will never change" and your many battles won, the medals gone?
A hospital closed down speaks of intensive care, poor condition and
She receives last chances from a sickened husband driving furiously
Across state lines to retrieve the worst part of a woman who lost a child
I sat here typing, pondering, and God filled me with HIS strength not I...
My dog saved from the sewer is almost seven years old, he is meek but
Huge, and will never know tender love, a bath, a day of sunlight and joy
You claimed him on my guilt list, and he would never fit anyhow not in my
"Norma Jean GLI" who has yet to break 150 mph (but will), and I will put
This furry mess away in my heart (where memory of first dirt storm lives),
Pray for the enemy (now there is none), walk invisibly from you forevermore..
Energy is slow to build within my frail form, it enters in small particles
Osmosis of the air, nutrients daintily eaten (drank), and the building block
Is just ONE for God, she is (me), and graciously I will walk, not turning
Back (to you), and your chattel maid will break and enter again this time
You can weep, pray, and turn to change; the Father will forgive you (not I),
The amends made, the freedom slow to seep into my wanting spiritual plain
But drop by drop the serenity forms, like whipped cream layer on top of
Banana pie, I am still married to a man who could not have all of me (then)
He is the vestal virgin in my life "I love you so" and will remain yours till the
Very end of time (on earth) and beyond, this magnolia blossom scents of
You my true love, not he
The anger is foreign to me
Hate is not love, kindness is the
Key to loving as God does love
You, yes me, oh we are...
ONE, His fertile plain in our
Tender space, our marital bed, yes
There is no place for hate..
