I Love
Karen Hallenbeck Sikorsky George BS,RN
For Steven
Sunday November 9, 2008
Trickle, pattern of lace light, peek through the depth of
Sky can we go up further, yes there, it is a single path you
Follow, into my heart; I moan and think "I want more" but
What I want, need, desire is you, the man you are is real
Bigger than life I care not for what "they" say for you took
Me away from a world constrained and burdened like ten
Tons of dynamite; I want out and you said "come with me"
Don't leave me if you do I'll find you, I'll be there...
I don't want to go, if I do it is because it hurts
To find my wall gone, to see you inside of me
Flashing like a rocket gone mad in outer space
This world we enter is ours, can we stay, not go
You want this, some of that, I need a cig, don't want to be here
Those friends I know broke all the trust, if my words don't come
They accuse me of being happy (what's with that) and if I speak
They tell me "you are in love" so if I am do they have to hate
Make me wiggle out of the seat, drive away, only to know we
Are stuck right here (for now) and one day without you there
Makes me feel lost, half gone, broken like a window pane and
Anger baby is not love, we had it bad, but just be who you are
Snow falls on barren ground, the night is cold
I could lay here under stars and sky with you inside
The fire burns in that place, let's go away from this
Sickness, enjoy what is left cause when I die you'll stay
How does it stop, no control, how does it go, out of control
Who are the faces outside the place we drove to yesterday
Neon colored light filled up the void, the water went beyond
The pain, the silence grew like velvet soft to surround what hurts
Changed the silhouette, recouped the thought, thank you Steven
You brought me home, shared this singleness that kept you sane
Quiet reverence, a date and time, you are right I'll never find it alone
Without you I'd cry (there) with you I respect the man you are, I love
You so strong and tough, I love
The way your attitude pisses them off
I love your heart beating beneath my face
The rhythm of your life interlaced in ME
You want to go with me, so just stay, I want to be with you,
We can drive away; north, west, south, east it's all the same
For the world out there alone is hate, the enemy not the friend
Potential life for you to live, if I die tonight I hope you see, that
I love what you mean to me, your hand in mine, your lips where
All is me, I could hold you and hear your life, even without a word
It's transparent, total, and now our days blend into night, the
Smell of roses, rocks, spillway, a breeze touches skin, now today
A church bell rings a brittle sound a gun
Goes off a thousand miles away (ghetto round)
A drive by shooting, a baby born in pain
This life we knew it's time to escape, it's ok
I never knew, or can again that one true love detours the end
I'll stay and not make you come, play if you want but you might
Win then what, and if it rains will you dry the tears from the
Broken heart of a child who never knew her mother's love for I
Can't kick it without those feelings, and there is this way
Home, barefoot we walk and lilacs bloom once like magnolia
I won't ask why for it is time to release the kite to the tallest sky
Floating upward, higher and higher, I love you, not good bye...
Thank you thank me
We know...
This love we have makes
US free....
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Sunday, November 02, 2008
"No We are Not Dead at all..."
Center
Karen Hallenbeck Sikorsky George
For "Steven"
November 2, 2008
The dark, quiet peace floated upward and stars stood
Erect, present and so alone up there, far away, I cannot
Touch you without feeling me, inside that place the
Wall erects, blind, elephant ride, what is this, why do I
Feel you forever familiar like the private parts of me
No one knows today (they are hidden for a reason)
You ask me why I look at you when we kiss and you
Know that is your being in me, reversed, shared, us
Passion is just energy in raw form
Take it deeper, slam it much harder and
If you want you might climb the mountain top
See my sky within, without, let's go to Midland and
Be what we are, we can follow the desert plain when
The hugest sun drops down low, yes down there, stop
Start again for night is cool, I shiver and you are warm
So hot that I boil and only want to know why you, why me
What did we do to be right here, don't let me run away or
Become the wall within for then I stop, and it is time to go
Into you, feel you, be real and not play I can't anyhow
Your pain is reincarnated in me, I know it well, I care
Children are pure (you are we are) and that love is
Boundless, robust, it is hard to beat there is
Absolutely no beginning or end, why is it you and I
Did not get to be children, prison door slams, bangs
Fuck it up, I wish I fought like you "then" but today I wish more
That I help you reduce rage to a small ball that you could throw
Hard, fast, and so far it will never return, more so that you sleep
With peace, feel safe no matter what you say, and take the
Aliens, bigots, criminals, malcontents and bust them out of this
Place we sit (beneath the desert sky) let's burn them at the stake
A eulogy (they are gone) and the weight (ton) is dropped and we
Are flying so fast a Lear jet is damn slow, sweeping chaos away
You feel like sunshine inside me, I melt on you and
Slippery, we burn and it feels like lava, erupting endlessly
Torn, confused, bruised but connected like an arm, a leg,
It is all interlaced and fragile turns to strong, we are heat
I like your heart it is totally part of the whole, do you begin to see
Good, the path HE is choosing for you to take, you don't need to
Suffer, question, join hands with the trailer trash failures that spin
Downward and are lined up on the firing squad for the final burial
It is time (good morning) to wake up, open your eyes for the first time
Take what is given (you need it) and know it is time to grow, even one
Small seed (planted) becomes a strong and able standard (a man) you are
Don't ask me why "I do" it just happened
Somewhere between San Angelo when you sensed
That sky was everything I turned and met your gaze
Far away, and a spark evolved to flame, you KNOW me
On a Sunday the church bells peal, a congregation prays in unison and the
Separate lives end, pale in comparison to the God flowing on those who
Deserve life, there is a key to unlock that door, use it with respect and
Know that even in this moment of totality, explosion, physical deployment,
I will not turn from you, but will look in your eyes, touch your face, feel
Your tongue touch mine (mine yours) and continue to go into that place
You let me go (with you) I have no FEAR, for you will be ALL you are
Some will never know this place, or go where we are, go at all, they are
Not going
To be
We are it and
Know, we just
Do, and it turns to heat
The sky remains, so stay
No one just you, I, I do care
Stay...
Karen Hallenbeck Sikorsky George
For "Steven"
November 2, 2008
The dark, quiet peace floated upward and stars stood
Erect, present and so alone up there, far away, I cannot
Touch you without feeling me, inside that place the
Wall erects, blind, elephant ride, what is this, why do I
Feel you forever familiar like the private parts of me
No one knows today (they are hidden for a reason)
You ask me why I look at you when we kiss and you
Know that is your being in me, reversed, shared, us
Passion is just energy in raw form
Take it deeper, slam it much harder and
If you want you might climb the mountain top
See my sky within, without, let's go to Midland and
Be what we are, we can follow the desert plain when
The hugest sun drops down low, yes down there, stop
Start again for night is cool, I shiver and you are warm
So hot that I boil and only want to know why you, why me
What did we do to be right here, don't let me run away or
Become the wall within for then I stop, and it is time to go
Into you, feel you, be real and not play I can't anyhow
Your pain is reincarnated in me, I know it well, I care
Children are pure (you are we are) and that love is
Boundless, robust, it is hard to beat there is
Absolutely no beginning or end, why is it you and I
Did not get to be children, prison door slams, bangs
Fuck it up, I wish I fought like you "then" but today I wish more
That I help you reduce rage to a small ball that you could throw
Hard, fast, and so far it will never return, more so that you sleep
With peace, feel safe no matter what you say, and take the
Aliens, bigots, criminals, malcontents and bust them out of this
Place we sit (beneath the desert sky) let's burn them at the stake
A eulogy (they are gone) and the weight (ton) is dropped and we
Are flying so fast a Lear jet is damn slow, sweeping chaos away
You feel like sunshine inside me, I melt on you and
Slippery, we burn and it feels like lava, erupting endlessly
Torn, confused, bruised but connected like an arm, a leg,
It is all interlaced and fragile turns to strong, we are heat
I like your heart it is totally part of the whole, do you begin to see
Good, the path HE is choosing for you to take, you don't need to
Suffer, question, join hands with the trailer trash failures that spin
Downward and are lined up on the firing squad for the final burial
It is time (good morning) to wake up, open your eyes for the first time
Take what is given (you need it) and know it is time to grow, even one
Small seed (planted) becomes a strong and able standard (a man) you are
Don't ask me why "I do" it just happened
Somewhere between San Angelo when you sensed
That sky was everything I turned and met your gaze
Far away, and a spark evolved to flame, you KNOW me
On a Sunday the church bells peal, a congregation prays in unison and the
Separate lives end, pale in comparison to the God flowing on those who
Deserve life, there is a key to unlock that door, use it with respect and
Know that even in this moment of totality, explosion, physical deployment,
I will not turn from you, but will look in your eyes, touch your face, feel
Your tongue touch mine (mine yours) and continue to go into that place
You let me go (with you) I have no FEAR, for you will be ALL you are
Some will never know this place, or go where we are, go at all, they are
Not going
To be
We are it and
Know, we just
Do, and it turns to heat
The sky remains, so stay
No one just you, I, I do care
Stay...
Monday, August 04, 2008
So, Luke is sober hmmmm....
Yesterday Green Petal
Karen Hallenbeck-Sikorsky-George BSRN
Sunday August 3, 2008
There are petals, green, intertwined, two gloves laced into one
One is you (and I) to dance, on bended knee "I do" so simple
Forever to have and to hold our being damaged by faults of
Nature, body less than whole; stronger we (as me) as one, us
Together in this green fugue, almost twilight aqua, sunset has left
Our touch in this shallow (gentle) wave; we lay as one (in sleep)
I love you, is new life in an old movie
Television reruns sift like smelly sneakers
Past today,for it is new thank God for
HIS creation, tender bud, sweet blossom
No fruit so succulent, taken in, soft taste on my tongue, sugar
So raw, a contrast dark and opaque; the boy and girl run and
Their laughter tinkles, one shard of glass could cut to the quick, but
No fear, fresh breath of air, the new earth feels moist and her toes
Dig deeper he finds her toes upon his feet, each touch a tiny rainbow
Blue, palest pink to white, shimmering dove, "thank you" I am you, forever
Me ended that fervent storm, the sewer
Surged over, and city rats pondered dessert
Wildest neon lights of ghetto street (be gone!)
Childlike I was so empty I missed you, I miss you
Love is all it could not be then "we are" five years married, we did not
See, blinded without a cane, a seeing eye dog, the masses were
In love with our love, old and young stared and smiled the secret dream
"If only we could fall in love as they are" and the second hand stopped
The clock spurted one last sound and died; I am proud of you the simple
Facets of a day, the explosion of being in the clarity of life, we can, we will...
The wedding cake was Terimesu and the honeymoon
Was hot sun outside and you lifted me over the threshold
You made love to "your wife" (me) and I exploded all over (you)
Satiated in God's moment HIS blessing we became ONE
You had to go to prison, and knew (I did not) this clean slate was the
Beginning we deserved, I cannot tell you again and again that I knew
Nothing but loved you with all of me; "I was a seed just planted" and
A baby with tears to be shed, a woman by actions that had surpassed
Truth, I know today you know and God led me back no matter how many
Circles I ran around in, or death rattle breathing when my heart beat loud
In a silent scream "I LOVE YOU, I do, forever," and
The church burned down, the people we knew became so small
Tiny, incongruent, and dangerously ill that I spent half
A millisecond on God's chariot of fire speeding away
Crashed, we burned (I stayed) you looked oddly misshapen, beaten, and
You do not like people seeing you twisted off, then there is twisted up like
A pretzel, I could lick the salt off (you'd be bare) and wasted energy is
Like leaving that popsicle so succulent in the bowl; melting down to
Nothing but garish orange fluid; baby drool it makes me gag would
You remind me you drink flat Coke not to throw it away but if I taste that
In your kiss it would change who we are, not what we
Became in two years you reigned "under the bridge"
Austin, Texas homeless come from near and far and I
Went back to "homes" that never were I am lost I do know
Texas drew me like a memory but I am not fond of relationships that
Never were; a man falls in love with me; indignant "how can he if I"
DO not love him; go away, just go, I do not want to hate you so GO!!!
I find myself being closer to God; giving kindness to those who might
Traipse over the line of closure for I am done with past love, I am gone
From each of you but one; he is newly sober, even worse is he who I
Am (we are one) is he graceful, smart, does he touch me
Commanding my full gaze, is he always here (in my heart)
Does any storm following us fall silent when he states in
The harsh morning light "Sunshine I love you I do," he is
One thousand sparkles that alight from one dew drop hitting the pond's
Surface on the first fall morning; then the long spiral of blue lines of light
Spreading like scud missals so fast our eye sees only the outcome, then
Without sound the explosion and that pond is now an underground urn a
Canyon and bright red earth scatters and the life below stops, ends, and
The scent is left, next year flowers grow somewhere between the drink of
Death and the moist remains of fresh earth now deep brown
I am with this vision I travel free of charge I am the pilot the
Driver the veritable one in charge thank you God I cry aloud
But you are you able, willing, to sit behind me and follow me
The prison walls you clung too I could not visit without fear, anxiety for
I was proud of you (not I) for I could not (do what you) could not would not
Do it Luke, to visit made me crawl, but holding your hands in my heart the
Kiss at beginning and the end, feeling all of you up close was worth it but
We could have done it without the walls, we can, we could, we should
I like to wonder while I pray if you can taste my tears or, cry them...
Karen Hallenbeck-Sikorsky-George BSRN
Sunday August 3, 2008
There are petals, green, intertwined, two gloves laced into one
One is you (and I) to dance, on bended knee "I do" so simple
Forever to have and to hold our being damaged by faults of
Nature, body less than whole; stronger we (as me) as one, us
Together in this green fugue, almost twilight aqua, sunset has left
Our touch in this shallow (gentle) wave; we lay as one (in sleep)
I love you, is new life in an old movie
Television reruns sift like smelly sneakers
Past today,for it is new thank God for
HIS creation, tender bud, sweet blossom
No fruit so succulent, taken in, soft taste on my tongue, sugar
So raw, a contrast dark and opaque; the boy and girl run and
Their laughter tinkles, one shard of glass could cut to the quick, but
No fear, fresh breath of air, the new earth feels moist and her toes
Dig deeper he finds her toes upon his feet, each touch a tiny rainbow
Blue, palest pink to white, shimmering dove, "thank you" I am you, forever
Me ended that fervent storm, the sewer
Surged over, and city rats pondered dessert
Wildest neon lights of ghetto street (be gone!)
Childlike I was so empty I missed you, I miss you
Love is all it could not be then "we are" five years married, we did not
See, blinded without a cane, a seeing eye dog, the masses were
In love with our love, old and young stared and smiled the secret dream
"If only we could fall in love as they are" and the second hand stopped
The clock spurted one last sound and died; I am proud of you the simple
Facets of a day, the explosion of being in the clarity of life, we can, we will...
The wedding cake was Terimesu and the honeymoon
Was hot sun outside and you lifted me over the threshold
You made love to "your wife" (me) and I exploded all over (you)
Satiated in God's moment HIS blessing we became ONE
You had to go to prison, and knew (I did not) this clean slate was the
Beginning we deserved, I cannot tell you again and again that I knew
Nothing but loved you with all of me; "I was a seed just planted" and
A baby with tears to be shed, a woman by actions that had surpassed
Truth, I know today you know and God led me back no matter how many
Circles I ran around in, or death rattle breathing when my heart beat loud
In a silent scream "I LOVE YOU, I do, forever," and
The church burned down, the people we knew became so small
Tiny, incongruent, and dangerously ill that I spent half
A millisecond on God's chariot of fire speeding away
Crashed, we burned (I stayed) you looked oddly misshapen, beaten, and
You do not like people seeing you twisted off, then there is twisted up like
A pretzel, I could lick the salt off (you'd be bare) and wasted energy is
Like leaving that popsicle so succulent in the bowl; melting down to
Nothing but garish orange fluid; baby drool it makes me gag would
You remind me you drink flat Coke not to throw it away but if I taste that
In your kiss it would change who we are, not what we
Became in two years you reigned "under the bridge"
Austin, Texas homeless come from near and far and I
Went back to "homes" that never were I am lost I do know
Texas drew me like a memory but I am not fond of relationships that
Never were; a man falls in love with me; indignant "how can he if I"
DO not love him; go away, just go, I do not want to hate you so GO!!!
I find myself being closer to God; giving kindness to those who might
Traipse over the line of closure for I am done with past love, I am gone
From each of you but one; he is newly sober, even worse is he who I
Am (we are one) is he graceful, smart, does he touch me
Commanding my full gaze, is he always here (in my heart)
Does any storm following us fall silent when he states in
The harsh morning light "Sunshine I love you I do," he is
One thousand sparkles that alight from one dew drop hitting the pond's
Surface on the first fall morning; then the long spiral of blue lines of light
Spreading like scud missals so fast our eye sees only the outcome, then
Without sound the explosion and that pond is now an underground urn a
Canyon and bright red earth scatters and the life below stops, ends, and
The scent is left, next year flowers grow somewhere between the drink of
Death and the moist remains of fresh earth now deep brown
I am with this vision I travel free of charge I am the pilot the
Driver the veritable one in charge thank you God I cry aloud
But you are you able, willing, to sit behind me and follow me
The prison walls you clung too I could not visit without fear, anxiety for
I was proud of you (not I) for I could not (do what you) could not would not
Do it Luke, to visit made me crawl, but holding your hands in my heart the
Kiss at beginning and the end, feeling all of you up close was worth it but
We could have done it without the walls, we can, we could, we should
I like to wonder while I pray if you can taste my tears or, cry them...
Monday, June 16, 2008
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Who Stole the Blog?
Pork Silhouette
Karen Hallenbeck-Sikorsky George BS,RN
Twirling female form, light of weight, endless, the vision is
Not for eyes unclear, that have clouded and lost articulate
Silhouettes, if we are unable to see this with clarity, the feelings
Are jumbled, a train wreck in the mind, my fingertips cannot
Trace with sensuous abandon the sexual primitive scent you
Emit, there is never labor sweat, daily work to be done
There is you. Before me. The trust
Beat me down to a pile of ashes, when
I began to burn violently, the heat seared
Now blackened, void, I lost you
Last week the wind tried to hit 100 mph, the sky disappeared
Dirt is so common here, red earth splattered and smeared like a
Fecal pattern it does not stink, but I am a foreigner in this living
Grave yard (Lubbock, Texas), and there is nothing left I recognize
Withered heart beats, simply fall and dry, in that burning sun before
I can find them (you) and lost forever in this boundless plain
I know the meaning. Desolate alone (am I). You
Left, and watermelon juice ran down your chin
Your lips could kiss my pain and nausea away
Left handed rose bush never blooms
Elderly watch tower, that guard is wearing a uniform from Walmart
You can buy lather, foaming rabies in a jar, or a spray bottle in pink
Children are no longer white, they are gourmet blends of varied races
This one is Hispanic, white, shades of grey, his mother may be working
Eloquent welfare recipient she clicks her blue binder shut, no one can
Keep up with the border crossings, and she is fucking them all
One by one. Christmas trees cut down. We
Bought blue spruce knowing the needles would prick
Our tired hands, mine bare without gloves I never cared
You wanted eternal youth but no adult were you
Trying to recapture your touch up and down my slender arm is wasted
Time, I have lost the desire for sensuality, relationships are hornets nests
Pain is the result of love, this human race is filled with ignorants beating
Their chests and crying to God for what He denies, so kind and good is
He that He prevents us from marriage, slams the binders shut, a man
Told me we cannot feed the masses, that they must stop proceating
Killing babies due to fornication. Open the bible read
Between the lines, you might fall asleep on a page
Keep reading until the meaning is clear, no longer
Will that burning lust devour you below the waist
He died alone in a bed with unchanged linen, he held their loving hearts
Imprisoned, their silhouettes in his crude, hateful, ribcage where he sought
At all costs throughout his ugly life a heart, oh he spoke of love, he
Judged me (your mother), and when his brain crashed and he (like his father)
Stroked, the train kept coming and smashed his idle bones to fractured
Pieces of rock, he died empty, and each of you know the truth
I had the virus. Upset stomach, dizzy worry. No
Peanut butter and strawberry jam sandwich could
Fix the disparity of no appetite, and the need to
Breathe, settle down, and deposit the money in
This bank of life, on earth we are transitory, spinning out of human control
If we sat beneath the oak tree, intrepid summer heat, an hour of sweat
Might rearrange the complications of control, to the honest state of
Powerlessness, we live (here and forevermore), do not worry I think when you
Bury me first, your tears will dry quickly, and I love you, I do
I know that you know, and we cannot go back, sit with me, for a minute...
***
Who Stole the Blog?
Pork Silhouette
Karen Hallenbeck-Sikorsky George BS,RN
Twirling female form, light of weight, endless, the vision is
Not for eyes unclear, that have clouded and lost articulate
Silhouettes, if we are unable to see this with clarity, the feelings
Are jumbled, a train wreck in the mind, my fingertips cannot
Trace with sensuous abandon the sexual primitive scent you
Emit, there is never labor sweat, daily work to be done
There is you. Before me. The trust
Beat me down to a pile of ashes, when
I began to burn violently, the heat seared
Now blackened, void, I lost you
Last week the wind tried to hit 100 mph, the sky disappeared
Dirt is so common here, red earth splattered and smeared like a
Fecal pattern it does not stink, but I am a foreigner in this living
Grave yard (Lubbock, Texas), and there is nothing left I recognize
Withered heart beats, simply fall and dry, in that burning sun before
I can find them (you) and lost forever in this boundless plain
I know the meaning. Desolate alone (am I). You
Left, and watermelon juice ran down your chin
Your lips could kiss my pain and nausea away
Left handed rose bush never blooms
Elderly watch tower, that guard is wearing a uniform from Walmart
You can buy lather, foaming rabies in a jar, or a spray bottle in pink
Children are no longer white, they are gourmet blends of varied races
This one is Hispanic, white, shades of grey, his mother may be working
Eloquent welfare recipient she clicks her blue binder shut, no one can
Keep up with the border crossings, and she is fucking them all
One by one. Christmas trees cut down. We
Bought blue spruce knowing the needles would prick
Our tired hands, mine bare without gloves I never cared
You wanted eternal youth but no adult were you
Trying to recapture your touch up and down my slender arm is wasted
Time, I have lost the desire for sensuality, relationships are hornets nests
Pain is the result of love, this human race is filled with ignorants beating
Their chests and crying to God for what He denies, so kind and good is
He that He prevents us from marriage, slams the binders shut, a man
Told me we cannot feed the masses, that they must stop proceating
Killing babies due to fornication. Open the bible read
Between the lines, you might fall asleep on a page
Keep reading until the meaning is clear, no longer
Will that burning lust devour you below the waist
He died alone in a bed with unchanged linen, he held their loving hearts
Imprisoned, their silhouettes in his crude, hateful, ribcage where he sought
At all costs throughout his ugly life a heart, oh he spoke of love, he
Judged me (your mother), and when his brain crashed and he (like his father)
Stroked, the train kept coming and smashed his idle bones to fractured
Pieces of rock, he died empty, and each of you know the truth
I had the virus. Upset stomach, dizzy worry. No
Peanut butter and strawberry jam sandwich could
Fix the disparity of no appetite, and the need to
Breathe, settle down, and deposit the money in
This bank of life, on earth we are transitory, spinning out of human control
If we sat beneath the oak tree, intrepid summer heat, an hour of sweat
Might rearrange the complications of control, to the honest state of
Powerlessness, we live (here and forevermore), do not worry I think when you
Bury me first, your tears will dry quickly, and I love you, I do
I know that you know, and we cannot go back, sit with me, for a minute...
***
Catch UP
Try to Stay
Karen Hallenbeck Sikorsky George BS,RN
Monday June 16, 2008
Flamboyant, trace of pink balloon, pale so still if you won't take
This breath and let me see your heart; one, two, three beats
It might stop, and that shattered word HOPE will topple, fall down
Elephant step to your pedestal high, don't sit there the pillow is
Gone (it's too hard) and LIFE is just frozen and we (you and me)
Know death comes from lack of faith, take one breath for me
Stay in place but move even if to dance
Be someone you are not (just for me) and
Trace this piece of torn tear drop from my eye
Let me go (try to stay) let me know I love you
No one asked you, told you to let go, be a pretend man when
BOY is all you can be, the flat desert lawn is hard, barren, hot
I lay still knowing a minute, an hour, a destiny timed in living death
Mirrors your heart, rejects that plea within, that silent voice that
Screams at me, change is me I cannot change you or anyone
I love the best I can remember, it is just me, being who I am
I don't drink anymore for there is clarity
In sunshine and an old man on a park bench
Could be me, tired and torn next time this year
Summer is too hot and that last winter too cold
Fair haired girl, dark haired boy, she good, you bad, but we
Were the chemistry of the masses, they wanted to watch and
I never knew love or a match for my depth of primitive passion
You tried to be the man, but there is a meshing of two forms
Hot, in dripping sweat, no blindfold on, no energy reserved
All of me, all of you, we became what we did not understand
I left before I met you, I do that
You were told I go back to Louisiana
You said "I won't chase you there" but
I could tell you thought I'd stay by your side
It's been so long I think "do I know him" and I see parts of you
Flutter, pass, find me in a tired moment "places" that I go, and
There is no shame in telling a man "you remind me of, but,"
I could tell them a grenade is poised in my ear ready to detonate
They would stay for the connection is the touch of a lily freshly
Picked, and that vision will last less than a day, as will I
This one I picked from an odd garden
Wasting time, walking through some weeds
He appeared and could be distant but he
Has a touch of intellect bordering on passion
My tidal wave ended it was sudden, and quietly I lay to sleep but
Could not close my eyes, and a few years passed, the hardest pain
Is loving you my beautiful daughters who carry this explosion in a
Gene pool passed to you (from me) don't remember, please forget
A man is not your identity, a touch is not forever, and life is nothing
We see when we are innocent, a child in a world upside down, demand
Justice and that those who are blind SEE
Your truth, ask for peace in your interaction and
Do not practice anger for it devours seconds of life
That may culminate in quick years of death
Forcing myself to have emotion (today) is impossible but physical pain
Lingers, builds, and hates me as I hate "it" I am ready to say
There is "nothing more to try" and would know this is right, and the only
Shred of HOPE is fear for I know this is not of God, and He will be
The only ONE who can bring me out of this garbage bag into the light
There is no wonder in wandering aimlessly through this ghetto mind
Two tears trickle and that other man knows I cry
He abuses my dignity and beats down like a large
Predator in times of weakness did I once think he could
Control my today and tomorrow I admit I did, do not
Make my mistake for in some gentle jungle we have yet to see or feel
There may be a species of flower, gentle blossoms of a color undefined
We may yet see enough to resurrect us from our own mind which is
Purely deficient, and I would give anything to hear the beat of your
Newborn heart into mine (just one more time) letting me know that in
Truth "I thought it was love once" and now I know there is nothing here
In my heart
Not gold, a cheap trinket
Useless Cracker Jack prize
Not for me, oh no
Not for you...
Karen Hallenbeck Sikorsky George BS,RN
Monday June 16, 2008
Flamboyant, trace of pink balloon, pale so still if you won't take
This breath and let me see your heart; one, two, three beats
It might stop, and that shattered word HOPE will topple, fall down
Elephant step to your pedestal high, don't sit there the pillow is
Gone (it's too hard) and LIFE is just frozen and we (you and me)
Know death comes from lack of faith, take one breath for me
Stay in place but move even if to dance
Be someone you are not (just for me) and
Trace this piece of torn tear drop from my eye
Let me go (try to stay) let me know I love you
No one asked you, told you to let go, be a pretend man when
BOY is all you can be, the flat desert lawn is hard, barren, hot
I lay still knowing a minute, an hour, a destiny timed in living death
Mirrors your heart, rejects that plea within, that silent voice that
Screams at me, change is me I cannot change you or anyone
I love the best I can remember, it is just me, being who I am
I don't drink anymore for there is clarity
In sunshine and an old man on a park bench
Could be me, tired and torn next time this year
Summer is too hot and that last winter too cold
Fair haired girl, dark haired boy, she good, you bad, but we
Were the chemistry of the masses, they wanted to watch and
I never knew love or a match for my depth of primitive passion
You tried to be the man, but there is a meshing of two forms
Hot, in dripping sweat, no blindfold on, no energy reserved
All of me, all of you, we became what we did not understand
I left before I met you, I do that
You were told I go back to Louisiana
You said "I won't chase you there" but
I could tell you thought I'd stay by your side
It's been so long I think "do I know him" and I see parts of you
Flutter, pass, find me in a tired moment "places" that I go, and
There is no shame in telling a man "you remind me of, but,"
I could tell them a grenade is poised in my ear ready to detonate
They would stay for the connection is the touch of a lily freshly
Picked, and that vision will last less than a day, as will I
This one I picked from an odd garden
Wasting time, walking through some weeds
He appeared and could be distant but he
Has a touch of intellect bordering on passion
My tidal wave ended it was sudden, and quietly I lay to sleep but
Could not close my eyes, and a few years passed, the hardest pain
Is loving you my beautiful daughters who carry this explosion in a
Gene pool passed to you (from me) don't remember, please forget
A man is not your identity, a touch is not forever, and life is nothing
We see when we are innocent, a child in a world upside down, demand
Justice and that those who are blind SEE
Your truth, ask for peace in your interaction and
Do not practice anger for it devours seconds of life
That may culminate in quick years of death
Forcing myself to have emotion (today) is impossible but physical pain
Lingers, builds, and hates me as I hate "it" I am ready to say
There is "nothing more to try" and would know this is right, and the only
Shred of HOPE is fear for I know this is not of God, and He will be
The only ONE who can bring me out of this garbage bag into the light
There is no wonder in wandering aimlessly through this ghetto mind
Two tears trickle and that other man knows I cry
He abuses my dignity and beats down like a large
Predator in times of weakness did I once think he could
Control my today and tomorrow I admit I did, do not
Make my mistake for in some gentle jungle we have yet to see or feel
There may be a species of flower, gentle blossoms of a color undefined
We may yet see enough to resurrect us from our own mind which is
Purely deficient, and I would give anything to hear the beat of your
Newborn heart into mine (just one more time) letting me know that in
Truth "I thought it was love once" and now I know there is nothing here
In my heart
Not gold, a cheap trinket
Useless Cracker Jack prize
Not for me, oh no
Not for you...
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