...Till...

Till A Part
Karen Hallenbeck-Sikorsky-George BS,RN
July 26th, 2006

Spinning the tale taller, you drive away, to a place isolation is stilled, the talk of
A man, food, a sallow drink; calms your sense of alone, fills the urge to beat a man
To a pulp (again), the bed is unmade, dishes remain dirty, the disorder is your symbol
Leaving discord to be rearranged, so there is a purpose to hit the alarm clock, dress
Meet the day again, the bills unpaid (money), the quiet scent of closed rooms, no
Light, a Christmas tree dead in the driveway, she is gone, this road ends now
Spring storm comes hard, forcing the humid air to break into a lone
Vertical line, the sky is black and covered with dense clouds, the
Wet flood immerses you in restrain,t for always there is something
Bigger than you, your Friday night drink, the smoke that dulls your
Angst, she does not sit in that broken chair, tapping her keyboard, smiling in the
Frigid AC you refuse to turn down, even when you freeze in arrogance, you repeat
Every form of abuse you know, "I'll teach her a lesson" and she graduated long
Before she met you, she hurt harder than you can swing a fist, she sunk lower
Then any ghetto alley you walked muscle bound, she so frail she could break
Her fearless heart moves her faster, further, and miles apart--sleep alone, so dead
Garish ballroom of chintzy skirts, cheap smoke, varicose veined women
Traipsing about in semi-fog, caked makeup like crust on bread, old, they
Are tired, treading the dance floor sniffing for a middle aged fix, a man
To bend the rules, take them home, give a roof, and unpleasant sex
Pot bellied, balding, short-legged men, with just enough hours earned at labor to
Correct the life of the female force, taking deep glory in the age beginning to show
Wrinkled around the eyes, children grown; ripe for house keeping, nightly sex and
Cooking bland meals for your fat form, going to church once a month, and crying
When their ailing mother dies, this life is not musical, the blaring bass lines end
If you want to be sad, open the door and enter, smoke a cigarette and go home, now...

The tub needs scrubbing, to bend over hurts, and slowly to stand tall becomes a
Miracle, like a faint rainbow reaching to enter these huge blue eyes; mascara smudges
The faint shadows beneath eyes that have lived immersed in physical pain, the memory
Shows sturdy legs, firm of muscle; walking the circumference of life without a moment
Left unspent, where sleep comes like night; tearing exhaustion down quickly, and the
Sun brings smiles of happiness, a new day, the courage to bear on with the living...
Relentless rain, sifting snow slowly, now the temperature drops and the ice
Forms small hard rivers, immovable; the frostbite seeps tight on fingers that
Forgot mittens, and the Christmas carol repeats itself, over and over again
This priest knows my story, prays mightily, yet breaks bread, eats soup
And I starve, not hunger, but honesty; when one is ostracized from the world of the
Living there is an earth filled with cockroaches, wild beats that screech in the dark
Terminally ill women falling in a blackened abyss, salt shakers empty, the pepper
Poured on the open wounds, again there is no result but pain, yes more pain, and
Then pain, that pregnant cow drops her newborn life on meadow grass, and he stands
Shaking young legs, utters his first moo, and becomes female all over again, don't try
To take me back, make me drive, tell me lies, open closed doorways
The circus has come to town, and the odd folks are clamoring amidst the
Village idiots, and yet the normals pay to see the side show, and the
Boredom enters again and again for nothing changes, not here, perhaps it
Is time to shut the library, stop reading, ignore the dull visions that repeat themselves
Daily, wear sunglasses, drive a garbage truck, and until the dying breath collect trash
Never ending, lay in the grave yard in darkness to understand how it will feel to be
Buried deep in the soil of decadent grey end, the light bulbs burned out, the electric
Is off, and this last pack of cigarettes is empty, my radio broke, the CDs fell down the
Stairs, there is no gas in the tank, my arms are numb, legs paralyzed, and yet I say

Why is it till a part of me lives, I die
This life never ends...The valentine heart cracks
Cupid shoots his bow, do leave me, yes alone...