John Picked Your Indian
Karen Hallenbeck-Sikorsky-George BSRN
September 30, 2007
This day is edgy and no cool, dry wind will give familiar memory to my
Presence like that immovable rock on a distant Greek shore, where the
Sailors speak a foreign tongue, burnish sweat off brown skin, they are not
Tan they are naturally brown, and their physical strength a result of a culture
Unlike ours for America is freedom in bondage, those rusty chains are
Choking you up, the weight is heavy on your chest, and if you do not
Get out of your mind where alone you thrash in anxiety
You can't hear the delicate violin sounds touching your
Fragile heart, oh it beats so hard with love, and when anger
Becomes your punching bag, you go down (not I), and that
Biologic alarm clock is ringing, and you tuck your hands in prayer beneath
That pillow that allows sleep when he is not yelling, demanding some odd
Task at hand that only he evolved, did you ever wonder why other parents
Don't act like he does, is he the only one in his misery (it seems so) and
Today can be the first day of the rest of your life, or you can squat beneath
That fetid pond, smelling moss and sweating off some fear you cannot see
You are the most beautiful vision, and my eyes remember all of you
From before you were born until today, a picture is so still, almost
Frozen, and God turned off the freezer, said "defrost" and that
Simply means we need to let go, melt the ice, flow like a river
His fists cannot pound on the will of God the Father, his empty eyes cannot
Burn imaginary holes in your heart (not again), and you can walk out the door
Never turn back, never speak to him again, but I would not ask that of you
My love is true, created in a mother's heart, wrapped in pink and lavender bows
As strong as the shoulders of that Greek sailor who has worked dusk to dawn
Who serenades his wife with song, a kiss, and gentle touch, oh he loves too
If you listen to me, and do just one action
The pyramid of conformity will tumble down
Right now, all at once, and there is no crime
No Judge or jury, just you and I within God
This morning a chalky pink and blue lined East coast sky plucked my attention
I stared straight ahead, the old buildings assaulted my senses, and the rare
Broken form of a bag woman appeared, next to the brown bag drunken man
Erased they I from my eyes, but cannot move that mountain you choose to
Climb in fewer days than a week, each day creates no obstacle let that go
Five minutes a cup of strong coffee (half and half for me), and love in us will
Eradicate the pain, scud missal the heartache and restore the
Mother you love one hundred percent in that heart that never
Asked to lose the one she loved, needed, depended upon the
Sound of her laughter left behind, you hid it deeper, he'll not know
I do, and am waiting for you to join me; the world out there is joining hands
The multitude, the masses are clustering in silent happiness for the rebirth
Their applause is resounding, the heavens are pouring out strength and all
You must do is one small action that will free you of the fear that has no place
In your being, your heart, your complicated soul, for I am of you and know
You are the pale pink rose blossom and will not wilt, die, or lose hope
Today is the first day of the rest of your life
Today is frustrating for me as I wait for word
For your voice, for your presence for you alone
Were not alone, I lost the world and lived anyhow
For this moment in time, for this life to be lived, for this most beautiful
Measure of God's will and love (for us) to begin, not just a visit, for a
Lifetime, and the time is now, and the only chores you have are the
Ones deep in your heart begging you to go quickly, take her hand
Hear her laughter and know "all is okay" and yes she never stopped
Loving you (I love you), missing you (do not wait), and seeing you
The one beautiful person you are
Now free of the pain, now light hearted
Ready to live, and John may have picked
Your Indian, but that teepee fell down.
Come home, I love you...
