Turning Step....Today

Turning Step
Karen Hallenbeck-Sikorsky-George BSRN
Sunday October 14, 2007


When did dying day become life, elusive stranger clothed in black,
Face hidden in dawn light "is he here or not" and the dream soothed
Back, sleep came for a few hours, awaken I to the blinding sun
Streaming in my conscious mind (not just my eyes) betraying the
Deep truth of dark night, where is "alone" but here within my spirit
Beaten, twisted, pushed so far down the abyss, sewer smell so low

Young faces, bright voices, sisters fighting,
Oh they love with such power, so innocent
To "why" and how but their mother held them
Closer than her heart would know, do they know

No sleep, not now, to smell the stranger nearer, his steps vivid and
A hawk cries, screeches, and he flies further than man can see and
Musty basement smells, freshly dug earth remind me of a funeral
An empty box awaits my presence, and the blue sky has gone on
Vacation, the memory is dying, waving like a flag, my emotions are
Escaping my heart, and my weak hand tries to wave good bye

I love her she is so like me in appearance
Her eyes bright, her smile direct, but how can I
Explain ten years, a million nights, and my love
Which has grown, guided, and fed her today, how?

Driving too slow, need new tires, sometimes the highway stretches
So far, thousands of miles I fled (taking me along anyhow) and there is
No state that I recognize, they all are the same, and it is now that the
Reality is clear in my mind, "I am me" and nowhere I go will that change
The people who have passed through me cannot know me unless I
Open this door, it used to be locked, now it is open, come in, come...

Affirmation of what I gave all of you, values
Daily love, three meals, my heart oh yes
We played but cowered from his hate and
Anger, his flailing fists, his abuse, come here

Now this day is alone, just twenty four lazy hours, the stranger somehow
Escaped, vanished no longer is there fear in my heart who cares he is
A deranged irritation a vision of nothing, I am alive, here standing where
The sun rises and sets, the birds fly south for the winter, and clocks
Tell the time (that is all), and what counts is what I see in your blue eyes
Reflect back to mine, this is love unconditional we are blessed you and I

The night is shorter than this day
I am here, within you
I love you, do not fear
Today...